Jose Canseco Tapped Out

I caught this on tv this afternoon and couldn't stop laughing. Canseco must be hard up for money. They said he got a six figures to step in the ring with this dude. He lastest longer than I thought he would against a 7 foot monster and did get in one good shot to the face.

Let's hope his next business venture isn't releasing a MMA instructional video.

Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday

Jimmy has picked a good one today. Her name is Jessica Hart and she is a model. Her most recent claim to fame is being shot as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Jessica is from Australia so she has a cool accent to boot.

I asked Jimmy for a quote on this weeks pick and here is what he said, " I would give up both of my legs for one date with her (if I could lose my legs after the date)." There you have it, Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday pick...Jessica Hart.

Future Billiard Champion

This just blows my mind. This kid is not even two years old yet.

I called my mom and asked her if I had any great talents as a 23 month old child and she told me farting in the tub and sticking my hand in my diaper and rubbing poop on the walls. It explains so much about me. Maybe I shouldn't have asked...

Mail Time!

Here are my exact words when I opened this one up..."Holy shit!" James Harrison ladies and gentlemen...back in the mail. It was not personalized like I had requested but I am gonna let that slide.

I waited 143 days for this one to come back so of course I had given up on it. I actually thought it might be the photo I had sent off to Limas Sweed a few weeks ago. This is so much better!

Jimmy's Frisky Freaky Friday

Ok, after last week's debacle, Jimmy has picked this lovely lady as his Freaky Friday pick. He has just been able to get out of bed from the depression he suffered over your comments on last week's pick. He dug deep for this one and hopes for your approval.

Here for your viewing pleasure...Holly Huddleston. She got famous by being on "Sunset Tan" and being Ryan Seacrest's fake girlfriend (if you have not figured out by now Ryan is gay, then I am sorry to burst your bubble). And Grumpy, before you say a word dude, they are fake.

Letter to George Karl

Dearest George,
It is about damn time you pulled my best boy Linas Kleiza off the bench and used him. The dude can hit 3 pointers all day long with his eyes closed. I don't know why you haven't put him in more before now but I swear to God if I don't see him more often I will come to Denver and give you a wedgie right out on the court in front of everyone!

Now, let's talk about something very serious for a moment. I love Linas and not just for his basketball skills. He is one hot man. So I need you to hook it up ok??? Just need a little one on one time with him if you catch my drift. I needs me some of that real bad George.

Ok, so give him my number, whatever...get his ass off the bench and we will be all good. Now get back to work and figure out how to shut down Kobe. The Nuggets have to win a Championship!

Kornheiser Out Gruden In

Tony Kornheiser has announced he will no longer call Monday Night Football games. He cited that he fears flying as his reason to stop.

His replacement has already been named and it is none other than Jon Gruden. He will join Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski in the booth starting August 13th for a pre-season game between the Steelers and Arizona Cardinals.

This should be interesting to say the least.

Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday...Amy Smart

Amy is known for totally kicking Corey Haim’s lame mullet ass in Crank 2 or looking totally hot naked while engaging in some life saving one on one action with Jason Statham. I had even considered putting a few Jason Statham photos on here too because well that is one hot man. But this is Jimmy's section of the blog so I will just leave it to chicks only. Gentlemen...Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday pick...Amy Smart.

Mail Time!

How sweet is this???? From Coach Mike Tomlin himself and personalized to me. Yep, I might have done a little dance out in the street when I saw this envelope.

I got this back in record time, only 12 days! This will go in a frame and be up on the wall tomorrow. God Bless Mike Tomlin!

Crazy Lady Doesn't Like The Cowboys

This woman has been accused of killing her husband because he turned up the volume of the tv during a Dallas Cowboys game. It seems she might have stabbed him in the heart which fatally wounded the man.

I saw this on Deadspin this morning and could not help but chuckle. I mean first of all look at the lady...you can tell by looking at her you should not cross her crazy ass. She could play the Joker in the next Batman movie...check out that creepy smile.

I can't say I blame her in this case. I don't want a damn Cowboys game cranked up in my house either. So after some thinking I have come up with a list of things that just might get you stabbed while visiting my house...

1. Wearing ANYTHING that says Dallas Cowboys on it inside my home. I don't want to see a Romo jersey or Dallas socks and especially not Dallas undies.

2. Referring to the Cowboys as "America's Team". They haven't done shit in years...give it up already.

3. Taking a piss on my big screen.

4. Saying anything negative about Forrest Griffin, Gina Carano or Terry Bradshaw.

5. Wearing a Bill Belichick "Magic" hoody in my house.

6. Referring to Nascar as a sport.

7. Smoke in my house.

8. Try on my underwear, bras or dresses.

9. Declare you will run the Jim Jones Bar during a football party.

10. If you start filing your teeth down and making "Twilight" references.

10 Reasons I Love Shane Battier

1. He is hot.

2. He is hot.

3. He is hot.

4. He is super hot.

5. He wears white button up shirts...super sexy (yes I am easily turned on...oh look another random fact about me!).

6. I think the little gap between his front teeth is kind of cute.

7. He plays good solid defense.

8. He can shut down that little bastard Kobe Bryant.

9. He took out Lamar Odom.

10. 6'8 and 220. Need I say more????

Nuggets Fail To Get It Done Last Night

Ah those Nuggets really let me down last night losing a close one to the Mavericks. They let Nowitzki go nuts in the 4th quarter, he scored 19 of his 44 points in the 4th.

Along with a great game came some drama in the stands due to Cuban and his stupid big mouth from Game 3. He told Kenyon Martin's mother that her son was a thug. That had the Dallas fans sitting around his mom last night talking some more smack and getting Kenyon ready to go in the crowd and give them a beat down.

Real nice Mark. Guess all that money was not able to buy you an ounce of class. Good to know I won't have to look at your stupid face for awhile after game 5.

Happy Mother's Day

There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I had pooped out of my hot pocket these wonderfully talented Jonas Brothers. My life would be so different. Instead of sitting at my computer all day, pumping out sports blogs in my pajamas, I would be pool side pumping margaritas down my throat and flirting with the pool boy. Instead of driving a Kia Rondo, I would be driving a Bentley. Instead of talking to rude truck drivers all day, I would be speaking to my masseuse, my housekeeper, my chef and my personal trainer. But I have made the decision to not have children (this decision was made after babysitting for a friend and she comes home early to find her children locked in a closet) so therefore I must deal with my life without Jonas money.

Mothers give so much of themselves. Like all the time. I would find that ok for about the first 6 months and then I would have to sell my child on Ebay. I prefer for the most part to not be bothered by anyone so to have a child wake me up in the middle of the night vomiting up the 50 Bagel Bites I told him not to eat would send me over the edge. Mothers are very special people, because they have the ability to sacrifice themselves to the point they don't resemble the person they were before giving birth. Who else would do that??? No one. No one in their right mind at least.

So on this Mother's Day, try to remember your mother was probably cool and not so psycho before you came into this world. Also important to remember, she brought you into this world and she is capable of taking you right back out of it.

Happy Mother's Day!

Carmelo Saves The Day

That shot was awesome! With Antoine Wright bumping into him, he threw up a 3 pt shot and hit it to lead the Nuggets to a 106-105 win in Dallas. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Carmelo???

The Dallas fans are a little crabby today because the NBA officials have come forward and announced they clearly should have called an intentional foul on Antoine Wright for bumping Carmelo twice before he got the shot off. Mark Cuban left the court livid. But that of course makes the win just that much better. Mark Cuban is a douche. Facts are Mark, your team chokes. They won't win this series and probably won't ever win a championship with you as owner so maybe you should see if "Dancing With the Stars" will give you another shot. It is going to be a hard off-season for you.

Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday...Jenna Dewan

Jenna Dewan, actress, dancer and hottie. Ms Dewan was in the movie "Step Up" and has worked as a dancer for a variety of musicians such as Justin Timberlake, Ricky Martin, Janet Jackson and Pink.

Jenna Dewan, Jimmy's Frisky Friday victim and for good reason. Nice pick Jimbo!

Manny Ramirez Suspended

SI.com is reporting Manny has been suspended 50 games for a postive drug test.

More on this when it becomes available.

Nuggets Win Two In a Row

Ok, I have to admit, I could not stay up to watch this...I passed out. But what a great way to wake up to look at the tv screen and see that the Nuggets beat the crap out of the Mavericks 117-105 (yes it is a sad fact that I sleep with my tv on ESPN News).

The Nuggets are peaking at the right time...should I even begin to dream about a possible championship?????????????????

Revenge Would Be So Sweet For Favre

It has been reported that Brett Favre will be meeting with the Vikings this week to discuss the possibility of his return to the NFL. His whole motive to get revenge against the Packers for letting him go.

I am all for this, mainly because of personal reasons. I was fired by a company once. Yep, me...and well it made me a little angry and bitter. So angry and bitter that I spent lots of time trying to think of ways to get them back. Flatten the tires of all their service trucks?? Too nice. Sign the President of the company up for porn subscriptions to be delivered to his house?? Good but not good enough. Of course I wound up doing nothing but the thought of making some folks uncomfortable around there made me happy.

I am sure the thought of playing the Packers twice a year and lighting it up against them makes him very happy as well. Will he light it up? Who knows? He is getting up there but I am sure he has a few great games left in him and why not let him get a little revenge. I know I for one will be watching those games when I normally would not care about a Green Bay vs. Minnesota matchup.

So come on Brett, let's see if you can make those bastards sweat a little.

Your Dreams Have Just Come True

I saw this and of course had to share with you guys because this must be a dream come true for most of you. A women's lingerie football team.

The team is called the Philadelphia Passion and they will be playing games against the Miami Caliente and Tampa Breeze teams.

Guys line up to buy your season tickets, I think this just might be a sold out event.

Nuggets Win Game 1

The Nuggets are off to a great start, beating the Dallas Mavericks today, 109-95. Nene was on fire, a powerhouse that was hard to defend.

It was so great to watch Mark Cuban walk off with such a disappointed look on his face. Game 2 is Tuesday night at 9:30pm central time. I hate those late games, makes it hard for me to stay up and watch the whole game. I guess I will just have to go into work on Wednesday a little groggy. I am pumped about the Nuggets!

Mail Time!

Got this back from one of my favorite wide receivers, Greg Jennings. I did ask for it to be personalized but that did not happen. I am just glad to get it back really. He also enclosed the little print out thanking me for being a fan and telling me to check out his website. Thought that was pretty cool.

This one took awhile to get back...129 days to be exact. After about 90 days I usually figure they aren't coming back so this is a very pleasant surprise.

Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday...Kim Smith

Well here we are fellas, Ms. Kim Smith. Jimmy actually had a few words to say about her..."When Kim isn’t jumping from train to train chasing loser boy band members in crappy music videos, she is an avid extreme skier, as well as working full time for Roto Rooter. And then on the side she does a little modeling. So with that type of street cred that’s why we have made her our frisky Friday hottie." Nuff said...enjoy!

Da Bulls Pull It Off

The Bulls vs Celtics series has been the most incredible sports series I think I have ever seen. I wish I had most of these games on tape to re-watch.

Last night's game went into triple overtime and it was just insane. When Joakim Noah slammed that ball over Paul Pierce, I stood up outta my chair screaming.

This series now goes to Game 7 and if you don't watch you will be added to my shit list.