Thursday, March 23, 2006

One Case of No Doze Ordered

As promised to my good friend Dave, I gave Nascar one more try. I watched the Auto Club 500 live from Fontana, California. Dave, I must report I had the same problem. I fell asleep yet again. I even went an extra mile this week, making sure I had plenty of sleep the night before. I slept for 9.5 hours on Saturday night so it is not because I am sleep deprived.

I know you suggested it might be NBC's coverage last week and that Fox would cover this one. Nope, no difference. Ok, let me take that back. I only fell asleep ONE time in this race, where last week's I fell asleep twice.I passed out on lap number 55. I partially blame my early exit on the person that books the entertainment for these events. We went from Bon Jovi to Jewel. JEWEL! Jewel and Nascar go together about as well as Godsmack and figure skating. I am not sure who has this job, but I would like to have it. Surely there was someone out there with nothing scheduled on a Sunday who could have put on a better show. A Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band would have gotten the crowd more rev'd up.

Next we have the starting of the engines, which I imagine is supposed to be cool. Last week, James Caan who was trying to be cool for some reason and didn't really get into it. But this week, this week was the best! Shav Glick who I guess is some sort of legendary racing person of some sort. I thought the poor man would keel over dead before he even got to "your engine". Can't Nascar let the old geezers wave a flag or something?Race started and to the left they went. No drama, just lots of left turns. Lap 55 I passed out, I just could not handle all the excitement. I regained consciousness around lap 116. DANG! I woke up entirely too early. 134 more laps to go! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! So I watch. With 72 laps to go I started reading a book. 50 laps to go I went out and cleaned the dust out of my car vents. 35 laps to go I cleaned out the fish tank. 20 laps to go, I decide to try to sit and focus on the end of this race. I am not sure why, but I did. Matt Kenseth won the race. No cool crashes. No drama. I got up from my recliner, went to the phone and ordered a full case of No Doze. Maybe, just maybe I can make it through the Nascar season that way.

No comments: