Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Chicago Cubs: Our Time Is Now

We have waited too long for this. We have suffered so many times. I know sometimes admitting that I am a Cubs fan is a hard thing to do.

The baseball playoffs begin for the Cubs tomorrow. They will be playing against the LA Dodgers. I love our chance in this series and as always, I will hope and pray we make it to the World Series and win it. I cannot express to you my desire for the Cubs to win a championship.

There is something about sports that makes me cry. Seriously, I could watch "Beaches", "Steel Magnolias" and "Terms of Endearment" and not even have watery eyes. But if I see something great achieved in sports, I bawl like a baby. Steelers win the Superbowl in 2006, I bawled in front of an entire room of people. They left very quickly. Michael Phelps breaks the record for most gold medals in an Olympics, yep, I cried. I can't really explain it and I wish I could stop it but I cannot. I can only imagine the tears I have saved up for the when the Cubs finally win a World Series. It might just cause a flood.

Are you ready Cubs fans?? I know I am. Let's make this year our year, let's jump up and down for joy when they do it because it could just be the last time we see it happen ever again. Get your tissues ready!

Image Source: http://media.wsbt.com/images/cubs%20beat%20mets.jpg

Kiffin Fired, Davis Crazy???

I just don't know about Al's decision to fire Lane Kiffin. I understand his desire to produce a winner but Oakland is not that bad. They almost beat a very good Buffalo team, beat the Chiefs in KC (something that Denver could not do) and gave San Diego a good game. The Raiders are nowhere near Cincinnati or St. Louis bad, they look like a team re-building.

In a press conference Al even went so far as to call Lane Kiffin a liar. The man just lost his job, can you just let it go at that and not read to everyone the nasty letter you wrote him??? I am not a Kiffin fan by any means but I think someone that you pursued so hard to become your coach deserves a little more compassion than that.

Al, I hope the Raiders don't win another game this season you crazy old coot!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Steelers Win in Overtime!

Oh it wasn't pretty but a win is a win!

Gotta go pass out now.

Pittsburgh vs Baltimore In Overtime

Ok, I am up way past my bedtime...the Steelers had better pull this off or I will have to call in sick tomorrow. I talked so much smack at work today saying the Ravens haven't played anybody yet and they were gonna get whooped tonight.

Remind me not to do that again.

Ok, must go focus now.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Carson Palmer Inactive for Today's Game!

Cincinnati QB Carson Palmer will be inactive for today's game vs the Cleveland Browns. Race out there to waivers and grab his backup Ryan Fitzpatrick. I am just kidding. I hope for your sake you have a better QB on your roster already to plug in for Palmer.

Image source: http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/don_banks/12/30/pregame.snaps.1230/tx_palmer2.jpg

Week 4 NFL Picks

Time for my office pool picks for Week 4. Good news is I am in a 3way tie for the overall best record for the season thus far. Considering my goal is to win that big pot, I am doing ok.

So here we go:

Carolina over Atlanta- I think it will be a close game but Carolina will be too tough at home.

Cinci over Cleveland- this one was a toss up so I went with the home team.

Jacksonville over Houston- Jags are just so much better.

Denver over the KC Losers- No brainer.

New Orleans over San Fran- another toss up so I went with the home team. Plus Reggie Bush is kind of hot.

NY Jets over Arizona- I am hoping Brett can bring them from behind for a late TD to win it.

Tampa Bay over Green Bay- I think they have the better defense and they are at home.

Tennessee over Minnesota- another toss up so I took the home team.

San Diego over Oakland- San Diego will win for awhile now, I think they have their crap together now.

Buffalo over St Louis- starting Mr. Concussion in St Lou??? No brainer, oh that was not nice now that I think of it.

Dallas over Washington- I want to pick against the Cowboys, I really do! Someone beat them up ok???

Philly over da Bears- Even without Westbrook I think they can outscore the Bears.

Pittsburgh over Baltimore- I know Mendenhall gave Baltimore a little motivation this week but I don't care. The Baltimore offense is pathetic. First team to score a TD wins this one. Plus I am going to marry Roethlisberger, I cannot pick against my future hubby!

Ben Roethlisberger My Soul Mate?????

Before I read the interview with Big Ben in this week's Sporting News magazine, my crush on him was merely a football crush. But now, after reading one little part of the interview, I feel we are soul mates. So what if I am 10 years older???

Here is what he said:

SN: "What scares you off the field?"

Ben: "Snakes. I hate snakes. I scream like a little girl when I see one, even if it's a little garter snake. I can't stand 'em. I hate'em. I'm not really afraid of dying. Snakes and tomatoes are the two things I am afraid of."

SN: "Tomatoes? What happened? Did you have a traumatic experience with them while growing up?"

Ben: "I don't know. I just can't stand them. I like ketchup, I like tomato sauce and spaghetti sauce. I just don't like tomatoes. My parents like them; I don't know why I don't. I can't stand to touch them. I just don't like 'em. I'm not really sure why. I think it's just the whole texture...I don't know what it is. I hate tomatoes."

I have been teased my whole life for just this issue. I will eat ketchup on everything but put a real live tomato in front of me and I flip out. I love pizza sauce, spaghetti sauce and I can even eat a chunk of a cooked tomato if it is in chili or something. But if you were to put a little diced tomato in my salad, I just might throw it at you. I spaz out. I have no idea why, my whole family loves them but I just cannot deal with them at all.

Ben, will you please marry me? We can search the world for restaurants that will leave those nasty little buggers out of our salads. We can fight our weakness together and together be stronger. Think about it...give me a call sometime and we can set a date.

God Bless Directv!

I thought Directv's NFL Sunday Ticket was the best thing ever invented until I also purchased Super Fan to go along with it. I can hardly wait for Sundays to roll around so I can watch all those games in HD.

Directv has also made me the most popular person at work ever. Every Friday the dudes line up at my desk and make promises of goodies in order for me to allow them to come over and watch. Best gift so far...a $50 gift card for gas. Boy did that come in handy! And all I had to do was let him watch the Colts/Jacksonville game. Of course it was almost too much to deal with when his Colts lost and he realized not only had he lost a $50 gift card but his team lost. It was a major downer.

This weekend Jimmy has asked to come over and since Jimmy has let me watch a million UFC fights at his house totally for free I told him a pizza would do the trick. This may sound very selfish of me but to be brutally honest I prefer having my toy all to myself. On a Sunday when the Steelers are not playing I love to watch "The Red Zone" channel. This is a channel in HD by the way, that goes from game to game to game when a team is in the red zone. Sometimes they even split the screens so you can watch two teams score at once! This is almost enough excitement for me to have a spontaneous orgasm. Seriously. But for folks that don't have this yet, they seem slow to accept it. Jimmy wants to watch the Tennessee vs Minnesota game today. Why I ask?????? Why watch just one lousy game when you can watch one channel that will flip you right over there when something exciting happens??? The only time I watch a full game is when the Steelers are playing or when it is the only game on tv.

People find it very sad that I don't leave my house after 12pm on Sundays. They find it disturbing. Listen, I spend $160/month on my satellite bill, make payments on a 65 inch HD tv and I have comfy chairs. Why would I ever leave??? If football was on 7 days a week, I just might have to quit my job.

God Bless Directv! If you ever needed anyone to do a commercial for you, I would do it for free! For real...I love it that much. For any of you out there thinking about purchasing it, feel free to ask me questions, I love making people as happy as I am.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Letter To George Steinbrenner

Dear Big Jerk Steinbrenner,

What a difference a year makes! I took a new job with the Dodgers after you offered me that lousy one year contract extension that was a pay cut and had terrible terms like making it to the American League Championship game. Not sure if you just weren't paying attention but the Yankees suck. You spent so much money and they just don't click.

Anyways, the team I took over has clinched their division and we will be heading to the playoffs. Where will your precious Yankees be????? Out on the golf course yet again...enjoying their long off season. Sadly, no playoffs for you.

I tried to tell you many times that money doesn't buy championships. Look at Tampa Bay, they have the 2nd lowest payroll in baseball. Too bad you never listened to me. Oh well, I don't have to deal with your bs anymore. I am playoff bound baby! LA is way cooler than NY. Forget about it!

Kiss my hairy ass,
Joe Torre

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

24 Hours of Insanity

24 hours ago I was in a hospital emergency room. I had been there for four very long hours.

On Sunday I woke up with a weird feeling in my leg and tried my best to ignore it. Yesterday evening, when dismounting from the toilet seat became a challenge, I decided I should have it looked at on Wednesday morning. I made a few phone calls to friends to tell them what was going on and every single one of them thought it sounded like a blood clot and convinced me it would dislodge and I would be dead at any moment. Some of my "friends" even asked if I could quickly scribble out a will so they could have my Mickey Mantle autographed baseball.

I arrived at the hospital where they quickly took my vitals. Then I waited for 3 hours. While I was waiting they called me back again to take my vitals again. I told the tech that this had already been done but she said they have to take them every hour if they have time. Lovely.

Finally it was my turn to go back. I was poked and prodded on for awhile by the doctor when he finally decides I should have an ultrasound. In my mind I am imagining the pleasant thing they do to pregnant women and it would not be so bad. Boy was I wrong. The poor woman that had to do my ultrasound got to get up close and personal with my kootchiepop. I was trying to point out to her that my injury seemed behind my knee but that didn't seem to phase her. She took that scanner and shoved it as hard as she could on what felt like a major artery and made me wish the clot had already dislodged itself. I cannot remember being so uncomfortable. This went on for twenty minutes. As I rode in the wheelchair back to my room, I saw many cops lined up outside a door and inside I could hear something banging, as I passed I saw this crazed man banging his head against the wall. The cops were trying to convince him to stop but he just kept banging. The nurse just chuckled.

Finally the doctor comes back in and says I have damaged some ligaments in my leg. Now, I ask you...how does one mess up ligaments by just getting out of bed???? Seriously, that is when I noticed it hurting, right after I got out of bed on Sunday. I felt so lame. Here I not only wasted $100 for an emergency room co-pay but I have wasted a good 4 hours of my life. I could have been blogging! He gave me two presciptions and sent me on my way.

I have been reading up about my injury on the internet and it seems Nomar was on the DL with an injury like mine. That made me feel a little better, at least I got my butt up today and went to work!

Sitting in a chair kind of hurts so I am really wishing I had bought a laptop instead of this desktop so I could continue blogging away. I just had to save a few bucks! I am such a big DUMMY!

So, this is my blog for the day...hopefully after I pop a couple of painkillers (thank you Dr Stafford!) and elevate it like they told me I will be as good as new tomorrow and back to my normal blog schedule.

Everyone, please be careful getting out of bed! Seems it can be hazardous to your health!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

St. Louis Benches Bulger For Green

Marc Bulger has been benched in favor of backup QB Trent Green.

The Rams are doing anything to shake up their sluggish offense. Hopefully this will help.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Jeremy Shockey Out 3-6 Weeks With Hernia

ESPN is reporting that New Orleans Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey will be out 3-6 weeks due to having surgery on a sports hernia.

Adjust your fantasy rosters accordingly.

The NY Giants look brilliant right now for getting rid of the often injured Shockey.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Jessica Simpson: CD Review

Yes it is true, I have in my hot little hand a copy of Jessica's new country music cd "Do You Know." No, I did not buy it, I would not waste my money in such a way. I am friends with a country music dj that GAVE me a copy. Now, I speak horribly of Jessica all the time so I was not sure exactly why she gave it to me. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: "What's this?"

DJ: "A copy of Jessica Simpson's new cd. You are constantly talking about her so I thought you might like to hear it."

Me: "Um, well...hmmmm...I...actually I...uh...um thanks."

It was a very nice gesture and I did not want to make her mad by setting fire to it right away so I left it on my kitchen counter for about two weeks. Every morning while making breakfast, Jessica would beckon me..."CHANINNNNNNN listen to myyyyy newwww Cddddd. I am notttt as dumbbbb as you thinkkkk I ammm." Yea, right Jessica. This morning Jessica offered me a Tony Romo autographed football to listen to her cd (is this how she is getting it played on country radio???), so I took her up on it. I jotted down a few thoughts while listening which I will call a music review.

1. "Come On Over"-Damn it! I like this song. Why???????????

2. "Remember That"-First verse of lyric goes, "Remember how he told you you were stupid". Enough said.

3. "Pray Out Loud"- Dear God, this song is stupid...is it almost over???

4. "You're My Sunday"- I had heard she wrote this about Tony Romo. You poor whipped bastard.

5. "Sipping on History"- First verse goes, "I could have been your June Carter Cash." Gee, I wonder who she wrote this for. Tony, I would be pissed if I were you! She could have written it like this, "I could have been your Deanna Favre." Just saying.

6. "Still Beautiful"- I have no notes on this one, I think I must have fallen asleep.

7. "Still Don't Stop Me" -Um, looks like my nap may have continued through this song as well.

8. "When I Loved You Like That" -Ok, this is the 2nd decent song on the cd. It is killing me to admit that!!!

9. "Might As Well Be Making Love"- Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!

10. "Man Enough"- No one is man enough to deal with you Jess.

11. "Do You Know" with Dolly Parton- They actually sound decent together. To make matters worse, the song is actually ok.
If I were to give this cd a rating it would be a half of a bloody stump of a thumb. I thought about a full thumb up, but then chewed half of my own thumb off to prevent it. Enough said??

Bill Cowher The Steelers Need You!

Dear Coach,
The Steelers need you. They are lacking the intensity that they played with when you were around. Today against the Eagles, the offensive line allowed 8 sacks on Big Ben. I know this would not have happened on your watch. Mike Tomlin is a nice enough fellow, don't get me wrong...but nice just doesn't cut it. Every time they showed him on the sidelines he was just clapping...even if we just screwed up royally. It reminded me of Herm Edwards. I don't want the Steelers to become the Chiefs!

So please, consider giving up your nice comfy TV job and come back to the sidelines. I am sure by now you have enough spit saved up to frighten the o-linemen to death, no more sacks allowed with you back on the sidelines. We miss ya coach!

Steeler Nation

NFL Office Pool Week 3

It is almost time for Week 3 to get under way so I thought I would share my picks this week from my office pool. I am referred to as "the bookie" of our office. I run the pool for NFL, put together a March Madness bracket and do the squares for the World Series. It makes work a little more fun. So I thought for the rest of the football season I would share my picks. We just pick them straight up, no points involved.

Here we go:
Atlanta- DUH. The Chiefs could not beat a high school team.
Buffalo- Love the Bills D so much I picked them up on all my fantasy rosters.
Chicago- Another great D.
Minnesota- this one bothers me, especially if Peterson doesn't play. But they need a win to get on track.
New England- Dolphins are only slightly better than the Chiefs.
New York Giants- should be an easy win against the Bengals.
Tennessee-Strong running game and D, I think this one will be very close though.
Washington- Another game I think could go either way, I will take the home team.
Denver- I love me some Jay Cutler!
Detroit- Yes, I know...San Fran should beat them and I am the only person in our pool to pick them, but I have a feeling about them this week.
Seattle-With the 12th man behind them I think they will squeak out a win.
Baltimore- Plenty of time to prepare for this one and at home with a great D.
Indianapolis- This will be a close one but I like the Indy offense better right now.
Pittsburgh- Did you really expect me to pick against my team????
Dallas- I think I am wishing I could change this one. This game is a toss up, it may be like the Monday night game, last team with the ball wins.
San Diego-They really need a win and if they cannot get it from the Jets, then they should just shut it down for the season.

So that is it, I will come back tomorrow either rich or broke.

Image Source: http://doctorheadly.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/football_blank_backgroundjpg.jpg

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Holy Moly! Cubs Clinch Division!

The Chicago Cubs have clinched the NL Central division today with a victory over the St. Louis Cardinals by a score of 5-4.

Ted Lilly gets the big win today and Kerry Wood racks up another save.

One step closer to this year being our year to win it all. I said this last year as well after they clinched but you gotta have faith right???

Ok, the Vols Suck...

That was the worst game ever! I left at halftime to go wash my car.

Well better luck tomorrow as my Steelers go against the hot Eagles. I feel pretty good about this game even though everyone is picking the Eagles. Go Steelers!

Vols vs Gators: Just A Few Hours Away!

Just a few more hours until the big game and I can hardly stand it. I hate Florida. I know hate is a strong word and your mother will remind you never to use it but in this case no other word will do.

I am a Vols freak, I grew up in Tennessee where you have no choice but to love the Vols. Game days in Tennessee are just amazing. If you hop on the interstate for any amount of time all you see are orange and white car flags waving in the breeze. It totally gets you in the spirit for the game.

Over the years, the Vols have not faired so well against the Gators. However we usually play pretty well at home so I am praying for a miracle this morning. So let's go Vols, I wanna hear lots of "Rocky Top" today!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Tyler Thigpen: Chiefs Starting QB or Pervert, You Make the Call

I tried to let this go, I really did. I saw it, went on to another website but found my mind wandering, wanting to look at it again. I would take another look and wonder, "what the hell??" So, I thought everyone else might like a peek at this one or maybe I have some issues I need to work out with my therapist.

This is Tyler Thigpen, the new KC Chiefs starting quarterback. I assume a picture from college but really...who knows?? It could have been taken at his house last night. I am sure after being named the starting quarterback for a NFL team he could be getting lots more action and not just from people with skin!

Mr. Thigpen, first I would have recommended stabbing the person that took this photo or at least destroying the camera. Secondly, I hope you have at least half as good a grip on the Chiefs playbook as you do this skeleton. Good luck on Sunday!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Vikings vs Packers Monday Night Experience

Hey everyone!

My buddy Chris Freas got the ultimate Monday night experience at Lambeau Field so I asked him to write something up about it and send me some photos. He did just that, so here is my 1st ever guest blogger...Chris Freas! *Also check out the slideshow of his photos*

Ok, this is not a picture of Chris but this is what I imagined he would look like in his game garb. Sorry Chris!

Opening Day 2008

Opening day, Lambeau Field, Monday night football, are you kidding me? The football gods were shining down on me when the NFL released this schedule back in April. Did the schedule makers have any idea what they have done? My beloved Vikings were scheduled to play the Green Bay Packers on Monday night.
I’ve been to Lambeau Field many times including on Monday night. I’ve seen the Vikings win and I’ve seen the Vikings lose, but this was special. The Vikings were being picked by many of the so called “experts” to be a dark horse in the NFC this year. The Packers traded the face of their franchise, Brett Favre, to the JETS (HAHA) and the Packers seemed to be in a state of uncertainty for the first time that I can remember and the topper of it all was that we had tickets, in the north end zone, ROW 1! My body started to tingle with anticipation; my heart rate skyrocketed with visions of Aaron Rodgers attempting to do a Lambeau leap into our end zone, only to be met with a stiff arm from me denying him. Or Adrian Peterson scoring a touchdown and seeing us in the end zone, arms wide open screaming “Yo, Adrian” and having him jump into our arms (while the theme from Chariots of Fire plays in my head) where we get a little man love from AP. All this excitement so little time.

As a Vikings season ticket holder for 5 years we have the whole tailgating experience pretty well covered. Grill? Check. Chairs? Check. Vikings Flag, flag pole and flag pole holder? Check. Tables? Check? Adult beverages? Duh! So my buddy and I began or 2 hour drive to Green Bay, WI on the Sunday before the game, Vikings flags flying proudly from my truck, which if you’ve ever been to Green Bay as a visiting fan of another team you understand that this does not sit well with the locals. The stares as we pulled into town were priceless, moms with babies shooting us disgusted looks, grandmas flicking us the bird. It makes you a little nervous dining out while wearing Vikings gear as you start to picture the cook taking offense to the fact that we as Vikings fans are dining in his IHOP and hocking a lugie into our pancakes. Oh well it all adds to the experience right?
Through our local intelligence, we discovered what hotel the Vikings were staying at and decided to put our stalking hats on and head over for a glimpse of our Purple Headed Warriors. We ended up being stuffed into a small room with all of the other paying customers that was guarded by the secret service itself. A trip to the restroom required a cavity search which I personally didn’t enjoy, but Mike went to the restroom 4 times and ended up on a first name basis with one of the guys. Wonder what that was all about? So they locked us all in a room of the restaurant, covered all the windows with black shades and there we were…5 feet from the entire Vikings team having dinner, the coaches, the owner, heck, even Greg Colman, the Ex-Viking punter from like 10 years ago was even in there….I mean if a PUNTER can hang with them..why not us?? Anyways, we did end up seeing a few of the Vikings and had one of the best dinners I may have ever had. Well worth the $39.99 price tag just for my steak….I think!

Game day is here. After a night of sharing a room with my buddy Mike and realizing that there is something seriously wrong with him, I mean I didn’t think it was possible for a human being to let out such earth rumbling sounds from within. I woke up at one point and thought there was a Polar bear in our room….only to find my fellow Vikings fan apparently forgot to mention that he snores a tad. So after a night of knocking on my headboard to wake him up every 15 minutes we began our day. 11am, Monday morning we pull into a parking lot of a bar called ironically enough “The Bar” about 3 blocks from the stadium. Now if you’ve never been tailgating or to a game at Lambeau Field then I highly suggest you put this on your “Things to do before I die” list. While I will tell any Packer fan that will listen how much I dislike that little wedge of cheese on their heads and their little “GO PACK GO” cheer and their favorite thing to ask a Vikings fan is “How many Super Bowls have the Vikings won” um…that would be ZERO! Thanks for bringing that up Cheese Lips!

Bottom line is that no matter who you cheer for on Sundays, this place is an unbelievable place to experience a NFL game. We went to the game, we watched from the front row as our Vikings lost another close game to our biggest rival but despite the final score I don’t think we could have had a better time. We walked in confidant and walked out humbled….nothing another couple hours of tailgating can’t fix right?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Too Early To Count on Cubs in World Series

Carlos Zambrano pitched a no-hitter on Sunday night. The first no-hitter pitched by a Cub since 1972. While this is an exciting thing for Cubs fans, I am still holding my breath. It seems like everyone feels after that there is no stopping the Cubs from winning a World Series championship. There is still a long road ahead and I will just continue to hold my breath and pray that Bartman doesn't come out of his cave and ruin things. I hate to be a pessimist but I have been saying, "this is our year" for about twenty years now.

Let's put the champagne on hold for now...

Yoko Romo Missing From Action

First, let me say, what a great game last night! Totally insane. Too bad the Eagles could not pull it off but no worries, they will whip up on Dallas in Philly.

Ok, so help me out here...did anyone see Jessica??? Usually they will show her throughout the broadcast but I never saw her once. Did I miss it during one of my many bathroom breaks (discovered drinking iced tea during a game is not the way to go)?? I KNOW she was there because Romo fumbled in the end zone and the Eagles got a touchdown out of it. Sounds like the curse of Jessica to me...

Image Source: http://celebpulp.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/jessica_simpson.jpg

Monday, September 15, 2008

Evil Thunder Doggs Prevails...I AM AN IDIOT!

Well, I think I must be the biggest idiot ever to play fantasy baseball. I have lost to my nemesis, Thunder Doggs in the playoffs. We wound up being tied 6-6 so here is the real kicker… I had no idea about a tiebreaker and what it would take to win if it came to that. So, 2 days ago I pulled George Sherrill off the DL and put him as a starting pitcher. I guess he went in yesterday and sucked. His era was 81 if that tells you anything. He blew up my ERA which of course was the 1st tiebreaker category, so I lost. All that money just slipped out of my fingers. Seriously, I feel ill about this. I am so mad at myself for not realizing that maybe I should take a peek at the tiebreaker rules and set my lineup accordingly. I should have benched all my pitchers yesterday! How could I be so dumb???

Moral of this story is even if you think you are ok and you might not tie someone, read the rules and prepare yourself even if the chance is only slight for a tie. Otherwise you will be in the toilet all day puking like I have been.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Shanny Has Balls and A Great Quarterback

Mike Shanahan has balls of steel. After the Broncos scored a TD late in the 4th quarter, he decided to go for the win instead of the tie. I believe the majority, if not all NFL coaches would have kicked the field goal and taken their chances in overtime. Not Shanny! Cutler went out and drilled a ball into Eddie Royal's guts and that was that. They were ahead by a point with very little time left in the game. It was a really exciting game to watch, but what I loved most was Cutler's play.

I have loved Jay Cutler since I watched him at the NFL combine before he was drafted. He had a quiet confidence and a crazy strong arm. I think now that he has a year under his belt and his diabetes in check we will all see just what a great talent he is. He has been quite impressive in his last two games and I hope he does great, but not great enough to save Shanny's job. The Broncos have not done anything in 10 years yet, he still has a job. I just don't get it. Poor Lane Kiffin is going to be out the door just after one full season. Most owners do not give a coach very long to get back to the Superbowl and I think he has had more than enough time.

Thunder Doggs vs Scared Hitless Final Day

Thunder Doggs is driving me nuts. I have already conceded most of the pitching categories to him but I am still winning era, saves and losses. A really dumb move on his part I believe is picking up yet another pitcher last night so he can pitch today. Now, another loss cannot hurt him and another win does him no good. The only thing it can do is make his whip and era worse so I think that is great. His little ploy of adding players is starting to cut into my lead. I am now up only by 2 categories, we are at 6-4 today. Believe it or not, we have the same exact batting average and the same exact whip. I am seriously going to have a stroke if I lose to this person. I don't mind being whipped in the finals but to lose to a guy that has it out for me is just not going to happen.

So once again, I ask for your help (that Pujols curse really worked...he went 1-5 and had only 1 RBI that night). Here is his lineup for today...wish lots of naked John McCain, Bill Clinton and Charlie Weis in their heads! Please, I beg of you!

C-Kelly Shoppach-where did this guy come from? He is tearing it up lately. Massive case of diarrhea for you today!
1B- Albert Pujols- nothing needs to be said.
2B-Brian Roberts
3B-Ryan Zimmerman
SS-Mike Aviles- how can a Royals player be so good???
OF-Milton Bradley- Got kicked out of the game last night...please freak out again today.
OF-Coco Crisp-he is seriously on fire lately-Bill Clinton naked for you.
OF-Corey Hart
Util-Carlos Delgado-Remember when the Mets blew it down the stretch last year...please repeat.
SP-Jeremy Sowers, Cleveland Indians. Not sure who he is but I need big numbers from the Royals today (well except for Aviles).

Ok, I think that should do it. I solemly promise not to ask for any curses next week when I move on to play for the championship because I doubt whoever I play will stoop so low to add players every single day.

Here are a few players on my team to have some positive thoughts for:

A-Rod- sat out the 1st game of a doubleheader yesterday, does he not realize that screws me up??? Said he had a sore neck, I am sure from doing Madonna. Dude, your team could possibly miss the playoffs again this year, start thinking with your big bat and not your little bat!

Vernon Wells- came off the DL on fire, has slowed down a bit. Need some help today from him.

Mark Teixeira- missed 3 games this week with an infection??? You are killing me!

Jermaine Dye- only player I have today playing a double header.

Jacoby Ellsbury- I only lead stolen bases by 1. I would feel much better with one more on the board.

Adrian Gonzalez- Please rip a few more homers today.

There we have it. Today is the day. Everything must fall into place for this to happen. Fantasy Gods, I beckon you to give those what they deserve today. A win for team Scared Hitless and a trip into the fantasy baseball offseason for Thunder Doggs!

Friday, September 12, 2008

"Yoko Romo" At It Again

Jessica Simpson has now started trash talking. You would think she might learn after everything that happened last season but obviously not.

During a performance on "Good Morning America" she shouted out to the crowd, "Go Cowboys!" and "We're gonna kick your butts too!"

I seriously hope the curse will continue and the Cowboys lose. I say this not because I strongly dislike the Cowboys and wish them to lose every Sunday, but because I cannot stand seeing her there in the luxury box. It makes me physically ill. The sad part is, I really like Tony Romo. He seems like a great guy, someone that would be cool to hang out with. But nothing would thrill me more right now than to have T.O. on her case and trying to get her to stay home when they have games.

I cannot wait for Monday night. I am going out tomorrow to buy an Eagles hat. I will be the biggest Eagles fan ever for just one night!

Vince Young: Fruitcake???

ESPN has reported the Titans were so concerned about Vince Young's whereabouts because he mentioned suicide to this therapist. They also report he left his house carrying a gun.

I don't even know where to start with this. He got injured...big deal. He was booed by his own fans...big deal. His mother is psycho...big deal. We all have problems in life. The dude has millions of dollars, he is probably the most beloved athlete ever from the University of Texas and he has a ton of talent. What exactly is so difficult about his life??? Did Eli Manning give up??? That poor guy took some serious abuse from those fans in NY. If I remember correctly, I even said once that he would make a better hairdresser than QB. Eli toughed it out and won a Superbowl.

So Vince, put your guns away, get your balls back from your mamma and man up!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thunder Doggs Is Beginning to Irritate Me

I joined a fantasy baseball league involving a radio station and mainly their djs. I am the only chick in the league and well, I have been kicking their butts! I won the money for the best record at the All-Star break and I have not been out of first place since May. I got a bye week last week and this week I am playing the commissioner of the league. I played with this group about 4 years ago and took all their money so I think he has some sort of anger about that. He is really out to get me this week!

It never fails that when I enter the playoffs after cruising all season long, someone...someone big gets hurt. I am already short some players tonight and find out that Yadier Molina is out tonight and Brandon Phillips is out for the rest of the season. So I add a couple of players to fill in for my losses. I just checked the waiver wire and this guy is picking up players right and left trying to beat me. It is actually making me a little nervous. I have conceded the win category to him because I prefer to win the saves, era, losses and whip. We are very close on all the batting categories so him adding players when I have 2 empty roster spots is making me nervous.

Why do people play like this???? I know there is quite a bit of money at stake but I am not going to drop most of my team to beat someone. Guess I will have faith that my team is superior and after I beat him, I will go pick up his team off waivers so I can whip up on the team I face in the championship game. It might also help if everyone out there puts a curse on Albert Pujols this week. Not anything major of course, just something like everytime he is at bat he gets a mental picture of John McCain naked in his head and just can't shake it off. Can't blame a girl for trying!

Many Thanks to Open Window Grafx!

Hey ya'll!
Check out my new logo. I decided I wanted something other than a photo so I contacted a graphic artist and this is what she came up with for me after checking out my blog.
I love it! Many thanks to Ruth for her patience with me as we made some adjustments over the week. She does great work and is very quick in getting it done. So if you ever need any work done, shoot her an e-mail!
Open Window Grafx
Let me know what you think!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Lights Out on the 2008 Season for Merriman

Chris Mortensen has reported that Shawne Merriman's season is over. The Chargers announced Shawne will be placed on injured reserve so he can have surgery on his knee.

You have to give the guy credit for at least trying to go out there and help his team. I cannot think of many players that would have even attempted it.

Monday, September 8, 2008

10 Reasons My World Is A Better Place Since Tom Brady's Injury

1. Every fantasy football manager in the world is looking really dumb right now for drafting a quarterback in the first round. My number one rule has always been a quarterback is never worth a 1st round pick. I look like a genius.
2. He dates a supermodel. I know someone has to date them but I think I would prefer they date each other. Maybe now she will go after someone that walks without crutches.
3. He is entirely too perfect. Perfect looking, perfect acting…just perfect. It is nice to see he is human.
4. Belichick will really have to cheat now and hopefully get caught big time.
5. My old boss Wayne is a huge Patriots fan. For years, I had to sit and listen to him gloat. The only thing I could picture in my mind after the news yesterday was his sad little pudgy red face after hearing the terrible news. Paybacks are a bitch.
6. I won’t have to hear about the Patriots having another perfect season. As a matter of fact, the AFC is wide open right now. The odds for the Patriots to win the Superbowl dropped drastically yesterday, from 5-2 to 6-1. I love Vegas!
7. The Chiefs needed a positive start to their season and I think this is it. Every team will fear the mighty Chief’s D or maybe not.
8. Stetson Cologne will have to find a new spokesperson. With Joe Simpson’s help, I think Tony Romo might be the new man.
9. Now maybe Boston can focus on the real heroes of Bean town: Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis. If I didn’t love the Cubs so much, this team would be my favorite.
10. After San Diego’s terrible performance against Carolina yesterday, this has to mean the Steelers have the best shot to make it all the way to the AFC Championship game.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Tom Brady Out For the Season:Chiefs Do Something Right

Tom Brady is out for the season. Reports are he has a torn ACL and they will make it official once he has a MRI. It happened in the first quarter against the Kansas City Chiefs as he was dropping back to pass. Kansas City safety Bernard Pollard whacked Brady on the knee, Brady went down clutching his knee and had to be helped off the field.

Finally the Chiefs have done something right! It's ok to perform terribly if you do something that helps out all the other teams in the league occasionally and this is a BIG help. Bernard, I am sending you some roses tomorrow. The evil Brady/Belichick empire has halfway been crumbled thanks to you! Viva la Chiefs!

Rashad Evans Shocks the World

Rashad Evans shocks the world with a second round knockout of Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell.

I have to admit that I did not buy this fight, nor go over to my buddy Jimmy's house to watch it because I thought it would be a dud. In the past few fights involving Evans, I have found myself dozing off. I really thought Liddell would go in and make very quick work of him and that would be that.

I nearly swallowed my toothbrush this morning while watching the highlights on ESPN. That punch was incredible and knocked Liddell right out. I guess that shows me that I know nothing and should just buy every UFC fight no matter what.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Couture Returns to the Octagon!

I thought I might have snoozed after work and was having a great dream that Randy Couture will return to the octagon to fight Brock Lesnar. After touching my chin and realizing no drool equals no sleep, I see on ESPN that my dream has come true! Randy is coming back November 15th to take on Brock Lesnar.
Randy has not fought since August of 2007 but I really think he can win against Brock Lesnar. I don't know if the Pay Per View is for sale yet but the minute it goes on sale, I am ordering it up. This will be a good one!

Almost Time for Some Football!!!!!

Yes, it is almost that time again. Glorious football season! I can hardly stand it. All my fantasy football drafts are now complete, I have ordered NFL Sunday Ticket along with Super Fan and I have bought stock in Pizza Inn. What more do you need????

I like to make predictions at the beginning of every season so after the season I can look back and see just how dumb I really am. Here we go:

The Pittsburgh Steelers will win the Superbowl. Ok, well I say that every year...can't blame me for trying.

The Kansas City Chiefs will suck once again this year and finally, Herm Edwards will be fired.

Darren McFadden will win Rookie of the Year.

The Dallas Cowboys will reach the playoffs again and lose AGAIN.

T. O. will blame Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson will blame Carrie Underwood.

Continuing with the Old Geezer Halftime Show this year, Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow will perform.

The Broncos will be just ok yet again and finally...finally Shanny will be gone from Denver.

Coach Mike Tomlin will contact me and say, " Hey, we need you. Please attend all our games as a sideline blogger." Coach, if you are listening my bags are packed!

In my second year, as the first female ever allowed to play in the ZEFF auction league, I will win the championship.

I will attend at least one Kansas City Chiefs game this season and then wonder why I bothered.

Division winners:

AFC East: Duh the Patriots. Why in the world would the NFL give the nearly perfect team the easiest schedule???

AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers. Did you expect something different???

AFC South: Jacksonville Jaguars. That's right, I did not pick the Colts.

AFC West: San Diego Chargers.

NFC East: Dallas Cowboys.

NFC North: Minnesota Vikings.

NFC South: New Orleans Saints.

NFC West: Seattle Seahawks.

Well there you have. Enjoy the 2008 season and don't forget to get your popcorn ready!