Thursday, October 22, 2009

Damn Those Yankees

I cannot stand the Yankees and it is time to call in for some backup on this.

Dear God,

How ya doing? Things are going great down here...I have NFL football to watch, I still have a job in a messy economy and they are still making Oreos. Life is good...thanks for the many blessings.

I need to talk with you about a little issue I have right now though...I am not a Yankees fan in the least. They make me sick to put it bluntly. The owner buys up all the best players and it just doesn't seem like the other teams have a fair shake. A certain player on their team is a big time womanizer and deserves nothing less than every STD imaginable.

So the favor I would like to ask is if you could just help us not to have to deal with them as World Series Champions. I would gladly settle for a repeat by the Phillies...or best case, your team...the Angels win it all. So here I am on bended knee, asking for this small miracle from you. I promise for at least 6 months I will stop praying to win the Powerball if you can just grant me this one request.

Thanks, peace out and God bless you God!

Chanin Bissinger

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sick of Tom Brady

Jimmy's Sexy Sunday

Hello, my name is Monica Cruz and I am smokin' hot. Jimmy has picked me as his first Sexy Sunday lady and I am honored to be chosen. For once someone has picked me before my molten hot sister, Penelope. I hope her fiance Javier Bardem gets her knocked up soon and she gets super fat and I take over as the hottest Cruz in the family. In the meantime, I have this...thank you Jimmy!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Favre Faking Injury

It is being reported on ESPN that Brett Favre has been listed on the injury report this week with a foot injury.

This is the first time Brett has been on this list thus far and isn't it strange that he is on the list right before his first game against the Packers???

I imagine playing against an old team would be somewhat the equivalent to running into an ex that dumped you for a younger stud muffin. You will be nervous when you see them, wishing you had just gone to the Target instead of Wal-mart that day but there they are in front of you...all happy and pawing at each other. It is just enough to make you want to run out to the parking lot and slam your foot into one of those concrete parking thingies. Thus you are on the injured list. I can relate Brett...really I can.

Brett Favre had better be on that field Monday night because we as football fans crave this kind of crap. The old team, the new stud muffin at QB and a few 100 shots of Brett's wife in the stands. Monday Night Football could not be any sweeter than if the Steelers were to play the Cowboys and win in Dallas 1000-0. The one time the Steelers have to punt, Dan Sepulveda kicks the ball high enough to crash into Jerry's monster screens and break them forever. Now, that is a perfect Monday night football game.

Brett, you better bring your big boy panties my friend...they will be coming after you and I can't wait to watch.