Sunday, August 30, 2009

Ready for Some Sunday Night Football

I cannot wait to see the reception Jay Cutler gets tonight when he returns to Invesco Field. At one time I was the biggest Cutler fan ever, but now he is annoying me just like Brett Favre. I have to admit it might be fun to watch him get sacked a few times tonight.

I got Photo Shop today. Created this little photo for all the Broncos fans out there. Have fun watching him suffer tonight!

Hitler Hates Favre

Too funny not to share...check this out.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Am So Sorry Vikings Fans

Looks like Favre is coming back to play for the Vikings. I knew he would be back I just did not think it would be with the Vikings, thought all of that was over.

So I have to say I feel sorry for Vikings fans today. To accept a player on your team that I am sure you have hated for so many years must be tough. I hate the Dallas Cowboys more than anything and if the Steelers would have ever signed Roger Staubach or Troy Aikman I would have stabbed myself. So I can feel your pain.

Let's just hope for your sake he doesn't end up with a 50 interception season.

Shaq Daddy Takes On Big Ben

Set your Tivo's for tonights premiere of "Shaq Vs.". Shaq takes on various sports stars in their sport after negotiating a handicap with them. First up, Ben Roethlisberger. I can't wait to watch Shaq throw around a football. This should be entertaining to say the least.

In the next few weeks, Shaq will take on Albert Pujols, Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor, Serena Williams (the thought of Shaq trying to track down her serves makes me giggle a little) and Michael Phelps.

The show is on ABC tonight at 8pm eastern.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Jimmy's Frisky Freaky Friday Pick...Gina Carano

Jimmy has picked Gina Carano for his Frisky Friday pick for two reasons, number one, she is damn hot. Number 2, we are afraid she might not ever look this pretty again after her fight Saturday night with Cris Cyborg.

Jimmy and I love Gina. She is a hero of ours and we want her to win so badly that we even considered flying out to San Jose this weekend and climbing in the ring with her...we think it might take the 3 of us to beat Cyborg. Jimmy will bite her ankle and I am bringing my pepper mace, that should take care of her after Gina does a little ground and pound on her.

Gina, good luck, we love you, we will be watching and praying for you. Kick some ass girl, make us proud!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Michael Vick Is An Eagle

Chris Mortensen just announced on Thursday/Monday Night Football that Michael Vick has signed a 2 year deal with the Philadelphia Eagles.

You have to wonder what is going through Donovan McNabb's mind right about now. I cannot wait to see how the Philly fans receive him, considering they booed Santa Claus once upon a time.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Beauty Vs The Beast This Saturday Night

If you don't have some amazing plans for this weekend like oh I don't know, waxing your chest hairs...then you should be watching this fight! I know waxing is very important but this fight is going to be HUGE. Besides, don't dudes like watching women roll around on the ground together??? This should be a no-brainer for you guys.

Gina Carano vs Cris Cyborg, also known as woman vs man, beauty vs the beast and good vs evil. I swear Cyborg should be tested, she really looks mannish to me. I am scared for Gina. I will be watching this while on Valium I am sure because my nerves will be shot. I am afraid that Cyborg will make Gina look a little like her best buddy Kim Couture after her insane fight with Kim Rose. This is what a broken jaw and a true beating looks like my friends...

Can you say ouch???? I feel like this fight will be a similar blood bath. I hope in Carano's favor but I am just not sure.

So guys order up the pay per view or Showtime and watch this fight Saturday night! You will not be disappointed!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Peek Into the Life of a Diehard Steelers Fan

I have been asked time and time again how on earth I became a Steelers fan considering I grew up in Tennessee. So I will share a few family photos and maybe you will gain some insight as to how I became me.

This is baby Chanin. From what I was told my parents showed me a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit and I puked up my baby food all over that. Upon seeing the Steelers outfit I smiled for a week straight and stopped having massive diarrhea.

This is my dog, TB (Terry Bradshaw...duh!). I have her trained on command to piss on anything with the Cowboys logo on it.

This is my ride. I know you are jealous...don't be a hater.

This is my house. I just don't think you are a real Steelers fan unless your front steps are painted black and gold baby! Let's take a look inside...

This is my living room. Some say I might have overdone it a bit with the yellow paint on the walls but it was either yellow or black and I think the yellow brightens the room and accents all my wonderful collectibles.

This is my bedroom. I really wanted to paint the walls yellow in here but the landlord finally caught on and told me if I put one more stroke of yellow paint on his house he would shove the paintbrush up my ass sideways. He must be a Cowboys fan. Uptight bastard.

This is my boyfriend Jerry. Isn't he hot??? He debated long and hard about whether to get me an engagement ring or this tattoo and the tattoo won. That was 6 years ago. He says he has been behind on his bills ever since and one day he will get me a ring and we will be married on Heinz Field. I am so lucky to have found him. What a catch!

This is my brother Steve. He has a Sunday ritual of running up and down his street right before the game starts. We are not sure if he does this because he loves the Steelers so much or because he was recently released from a mental institution and just loves his freedom and wide open spaces.

This is Javon, my brother from another mother (very very long story). He is a truck driver and has his truck decked out. Jerry likes to tell me Javon likes boys because he brings one home with him after every run but I don't believe that for a second. Javon told me they are interior decorators from all over the country and they give him ideas on how to decorate his house. Jerry is so stupid sometimes.

This is my cousin Wanda. She likes Ben Roethlisberger and Oreos. Lots of Oreos...

Last but not least...this is my mom. She said when she dies I will inherit her "Terrible Bra". Is it bad that I cannot wait??? Damn I want that bra! She says if I continue to piss her off she will write me out of her will so I have started seriously kissing her ass. Last week I polished her bowling ball and shoes, then dropped off a case of her favorite cocktail...Jack Daniels. That should keep me in the will for at least another month or two.

There you have it...a peek into my crazy Steelers world. Hope you enjoyed it. GO Steelers!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Real Reason Derrick Mason Unretired

One of my sources e-mailed me a copy of a letter that Joe Flacco sent to Derrick Mason. I thought I would share this with totally explains why Derrick Mason unretired and came into Ravens camp this afternoon.

Dear D-Mason,

How you doing??? Playing lots of golf and enjoying your retirement I hope.

There is a very good reason I am writing you today. I have no one left to throw the ball to. Oh yea, I know Todd Heap and Mark Clayton but really??? Come on. Heap is out for weeks if he stubs his toe and Clayton drops everything I throw his way. That bastard Drew Bennett retired last week so I am seriously running out of options quickly. So I am writing to you with hopes of you unretiring and joining the team again. Brett Favre and MJ did it, why can't you?

I think we stand a real chance this year of going to the Superbowl and let me tell you why...Roethlisberger is all distracted by his TV repair woman problems and when he is distracted he plays like hell. This is our only chance to ever get past them! They beat us 3 times last year but I think this just might be our year my friend.

Now look, I don't want to get pushy or anything but let me just throw this out there. If you don't come back and come back quickly, I will be forced to release the sex video of me and your Mom. It might be a little embarrassing for me but mainly for you because I am sure you have heard by now...once you go Flacco you don't go backo. Holla!

Your buddy,
Joe Flacco