10. They have finally gotten rid of that terrible co-host Samatha Harris and replaced her with Brooke "I can actually speak without tripping over my words" Burke.
9. Host Tom Bergeron is a silver fox.
8. That hot mess Kate Gosselin will dance. She will have a show called, "Tony Dovolani Made Me Want to be a Mommy...Again."
7. Erin Andrews will be dancing. Rumor has it, she has a peephole camera installed in her dressing room.
6. Pamela Anderson. Nothing else to say about that.
5. 80 year old Buzz Aldrin gets to dance with a 20-something hottie. Let's start the pool for how long he lives.
3. She is Nicole Scherzinger and she is pretty.
2. Shannen Doherty proves to us she still has a career. Well, if you consider this show a wise career move. It has done wonders for Joey Lawrence's career.
1. Chad Ochocinco will be the first contestant to be fined by the judges. There are no lifts in a Viennese Waltz! Fine of $10,000 for each lift.
Tune in March 22nd for this mess-fest on ABC.