Saturday, May 30, 2009
I caught this on tv this afternoon and couldn't stop laughing. Canseco must be hard up for money. They said he got a six figures to step in the ring with this dude. He lastest longer than I thought he would against a 7 foot monster and did get in one good shot to the face.
Let's hope his next business venture isn't releasing a MMA instructional video.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
This just blows my mind. This kid is not even two years old yet.
I called my mom and asked her if I had any great talents as a 23 month old child and she told me farting in the tub and sticking my hand in my diaper and rubbing poop on the walls. It explains so much about me. Maybe I shouldn't have asked...
Here are my exact words when I opened this one up..."Holy shit!" James Harrison ladies and gentlemen...back in the mail. It was not personalized like I had requested but I am gonna let that slide.
I waited 143 days for this one to come back so of course I had given up on it. I actually thought it might be the photo I had sent off to Limas Sweed a few weeks ago. This is so much better!
Friday, May 22, 2009
It is about damn time you pulled my best boy Linas Kleiza off the bench and used him. The dude can hit 3 pointers all day long with his eyes closed. I don't know why you haven't put him in more before now but I swear to God if I don't see him more often I will come to Denver and give you a wedgie right out on the court in front of everyone!
Now, let's talk about something very serious for a moment. I love Linas and not just for his basketball skills. He is one hot man. So I need you to hook it up ok??? Just need a little one on one time with him if you catch my drift. I needs me some of that real bad George.
Ok, so give him my number, whatever...get his ass off the bench and we will be all good. Now get back to work and figure out how to shut down Kobe. The Nuggets have to win a Championship!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
This woman has been accused of killing her husband because he turned up the volume of the tv during a Dallas Cowboys game. It seems she might have stabbed him in the heart which fatally wounded the man.
I saw this on Deadspin this morning and could not help but chuckle. I mean first of all look at the lady...you can tell by looking at her you should not cross her crazy ass. She could play the Joker in the next Batman movie...check out that creepy smile.
I can't say I blame her in this case. I don't want a damn Cowboys game cranked up in my house either. So after some thinking I have come up with a list of things that just might get you stabbed while visiting my house...
1. Wearing ANYTHING that says Dallas Cowboys on it inside my home. I don't want to see a Romo jersey or Dallas socks and especially not Dallas undies.
2. Referring to the Cowboys as "America's Team". They haven't done shit in years...give it up already.
3. Taking a piss on my big screen.
4. Saying anything negative about Forrest Griffin, Gina Carano or Terry Bradshaw.
5. Wearing a Bill Belichick "Magic" hoody in my house.
6. Referring to Nascar as a sport.
7. Smoke in my house.
8. Try on my underwear, bras or dresses.
9. Declare you will run the Jim Jones Bar during a football party.
10. If you start filing your teeth down and making "Twilight" references.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I had pooped out of my hot pocket these wonderfully talented Jonas Brothers. My life would be so different. Instead of sitting at my computer all day, pumping out sports blogs in my pajamas, I would be pool side pumping margaritas down my throat and flirting with the pool boy. Instead of driving a Kia Rondo, I would be driving a Bentley. Instead of talking to rude truck drivers all day, I would be speaking to my masseuse, my housekeeper, my chef and my personal trainer. But I have made the decision to not have children (this decision was made after babysitting for a friend and she comes home early to find her children locked in a closet) so therefore I must deal with my life without Jonas money.
Mothers give so much of themselves. Like all the time. I would find that ok for about the first 6 months and then I would have to sell my child on Ebay. I prefer for the most part to not be bothered by anyone so to have a child wake me up in the middle of the night vomiting up the 50 Bagel Bites I told him not to eat would send me over the edge. Mothers are very special people, because they have the ability to sacrifice themselves to the point they don't resemble the person they were before giving birth. Who else would do that??? No one. No one in their right mind at least.
So on this Mother's Day, try to remember your mother was probably cool and not so psycho before you came into this world. Also important to remember, she brought you into this world and she is capable of taking you right back out of it.
Happy Mother's Day!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Jenna Dewan, actress, dancer and hottie. Ms Dewan was in the movie "Step Up" and has worked as a dancer for a variety of musicians such as Justin Timberlake, Ricky Martin, Janet Jackson and Pink.
Jenna Dewan, Jimmy's Frisky Friday victim and for good reason. Nice pick Jimbo!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
It has been reported that Brett Favre will be meeting with the Vikings this week to discuss the possibility of his return to the NFL. His whole motive to get revenge against the Packers for letting him go.
I am all for this, mainly because of personal reasons. I was fired by a company once. Yep, me...and well it made me a little angry and bitter. So angry and bitter that I spent lots of time trying to think of ways to get them back. Flatten the tires of all their service trucks?? Too nice. Sign the President of the company up for porn subscriptions to be delivered to his house?? Good but not good enough. Of course I wound up doing nothing but the thought of making some folks uncomfortable around there made me happy.
I am sure the thought of playing the Packers twice a year and lighting it up against them makes him very happy as well. Will he light it up? Who knows? He is getting up there but I am sure he has a few great games left in him and why not let him get a little revenge. I know I for one will be watching those games when I normally would not care about a Green Bay vs. Minnesota matchup.
So come on Brett, let's see if you can make those bastards sweat a little.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The Nuggets are off to a great start, beating the Dallas Mavericks today, 109-95. Nene was on fire, a powerhouse that was hard to defend.
It was so great to watch Mark Cuban walk off with such a disappointed look on his face. Game 2 is Tuesday night at 9:30pm central time. I hate those late games, makes it hard for me to stay up and watch the whole game. I guess I will just have to go into work on Wednesday a little groggy. I am pumped about the Nuggets!
Friday, May 1, 2009