Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Cutler to Be Traded

I am a huge fan of Jay Cutler's. I fell in love with him while watching him perform in the combine. His shaggy hair, his quiet confidence and well, that damn arm of his. He could whip the ball around the field like it was a baseball.

So it really pains me to see the situation in Denver. Although I am a huge Steelers fan, the only other football jersey I own is Jay Cutler's Denver jersey. Yes, he might be acting a bit like a baby. I am not totally blinded by my love for him. But I guess his antics have gone too far for too long and Pat Bowlen has said they will start entertaining offers for a trade.

The two teams that I think will make a play for him are Detroit and the NY Jets. Detroit is an NFL wasteland and I don't feel Jay could handle playing in NY. I just hope he will come to his senses and realize Denver is not such a bad place. Suck it up, go in and say you are sorry and get to work. Lord knows I cannot afford to buy another damn Cutler jersey in this economy!

Calipari To Kentucky

John Calipari has signed an 8 year, $35 million dollar deal to go coach the Kentucky Wildcats.

I just don't know that he is worth that. Am I missing something????

Mail Time!

Looky, looky! I was thrilled to get this back today from Colt McCoy. It took exactly 90 days to get it back...not too bad at all.

He even personalized it and wrote down a Bible scripture. This one will go up on the wall immediately!

Stalking Dana White

I leave for Las Vegas on Thursday morning. Although, it is a business trip of sorts, I am trying to think of a way to go stalk Dana White.

I love the UFC. I would love to go over to the facility where they tape "The Ultimate Fighter". Maybe walk around on the inside of an octagon, jump rope, kick a few bags and then try to cut 5 lbs in the sauna. Maybe even let a fighter choke me out just to see what it feels like. I want the whole experience!

Then I would like to have a sit down with Dana White. I would beg him to sign Gina Carano and a few girls for her to demolish. Maybe even talk to him about having a few UFC events in Kansas City, Oklahoma City or St. Louis so I can actually attend one.

Oh what fun it would be! A dream day. A girl can dream can't she???

Saturday, March 28, 2009

And My Bracket Goes Ka-BOOM!

Yep, I picked Memphis to win it all. Clearly, I had been drinking heavily the night I threw my bracket together. WHAT was I thinking?

To make matters worse, my team was beaten by Missouri. Yea, that's right, I live in Missouri. When was the last time they were any good?

So I surrender to my couch, bracketless and depressed. Let's hope the games cheer me up a bit.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Extend the Season Or Not...

The NFL owners will vote on on an extension to the NFL season soon. The options are 3 pre-season games and 17 regular season games or 2 pre-season games and 18 regular season games.

I have been swishing this around in my head for a couple of days now and it is a real tough call. I know you add them up and they both equal 20 games but the real issue is how many games can an NFL player tolerate? The pre-season games mean nothing. Most of the really good players won't play at all or play a half or so. So my head feels like the 3 pre-season game option would be best. The players have the option like always of playing in the pre-season games and it gives them the shortest regular season schedule. But then my heart has to get involved...

I am a very greedy NFL consumer. I hate pre-season because the players don't play. I hate pre-season because someone always gets hurt and is out for the reason for absolutely no good reason. If the players get injured during the regular season, at least it counted for something.

From September through January, my butt does not move out of my leather reclining wingback chair for nothing on Sundays. Will I develop hemmorhoids??? Can I physically take lounging around for that long? Will I go broke due to my enormous Domino's bill??? I say who cares! Bring me the full blown 18 game season! I will get ready for it! I will start training immediately! God Bless the NFL!

Dancing With the Stars Nugget Drama

And I thought "Dancing With the Stars" was for wussies. With the latest drama, I just might have to start watching.

Shawn Johnson former gold medal gymnast has a stalker. Robert O'Ryan, 34, scaled a fence on the property and told the guards that saw him that he was meant to be with Johnson. Then went further by saying she was giving him signals on tv telling him that he and 17 year old Johnson would have a baby together in the next year. A search of his car revealed a loaded shotgun, loaded .45 handgun, duct tape, a map to Johnson's house and love letters. The family has filed a restraining order.

I don't know how much more drama I can take with this show. I heard last week Lil' Kim didn't shave her pits. What next??? Holly Madison loses an implant?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Let's Take a Minute And Do the Right Thing

Crazy Canton Cuts has a petition going right now trying to get a very deserving former NFL player into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. From reading a bit about his history in the NFL it is very apparent to me that Chris Hanburger deserves a spot in the hall.

Please take a moment, go see Crazy Canton Cuts and sign the petition. Thanks!


Dallas Cowboys Most Popular Team On Planet

A recent poll by ESPN reveals the most popular professional sports teams right now. Check this out...
1. Dallas Cowboys
2. Green Bay Packers
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
4. New England Patriots
5. New York Yankees
6. Los Angeles Lakers
7. Indianapolis Colts
8. Boston Red Sox
9. New York Giants
10. Atlanta Braves

Looks like it is a good thing the Cowboys built the big brand new stadium, they have lots of fans apparently.

Source: ESPN

I Love Pat Summit!

Her team gets blown out in the 1st round of the tournament and instead of letting the team take off to enjoy the off-season, she makes them practice on Tuesday. I love it!

"This to me says at Tennessee we're not going to accept losing in the first-round game and go home and go on spring break — no," said Summitt, who has captured eight NCAA crowns.

This is why Pat is a winner. Losing is just not acceptable under any circumstance.

Source: USA Today

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

This Weekend's Hot Pass Drivers

Hey they threw in a few new drivers...here is the lineup for Sunday's race:

Sunday, March 29, 2009
GOODY'S Fast Relief 500, Martinsville Speedway
Time (ET) 1:30pm

Mark Martin #5

Jeff Burton #31

Dale Earnhardt Jr. #88

Carl Edwards #99

NFL Signs New Deal With Directv

Looks like my dish is good for 4 more years!

The NFL has signed a 4 year agreement with Directv to carry NFL games and the NFL Network. This deal is worth about $1 Billion dollars a year.

The good news for those of you without Directv, they are going to make the Red Zone Channel available on cable tv, internet and wireless devices. The Red Zone Channel is the very best part of the NFL package. It scoots over to the teams that are getting ready to score or to some great highlights that might have been missed.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Curt Schilling Retires Today

Curt Schilling is retiring from baseball today after 23 years in the game.

Goodbye Curt! Thanks for the memories and especially that bloody sock.

NCAA Disaster

What a disaster for my beloved Tennessee Vols. First the men get booted on Friday by Oklahoma State in Round 1 and then last night the mighty Lady Vols got their asses handed to them by Ball State. Returning National Champs booted in the 1st damn round. Never happened before and will probably never happen again.

God I am depressed. Who the hell do I root for now????

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Nascar Hot Pass Drivers Announced

Here are the available drivers for Hot Pass on Directv for this weekend's race.
Kasey Kahne- Channel 795
Denny Hamlin- Channel 796
Kevin Harvick- Channel 797
Dale Jr- Channel 798

I think they have had Kasey and Dale every single week. What is up with that???

Donte' Stallworth Drunk Driving During Accident

Reports are coming out that Donte' Stallworth was driving drunk and that is what caused him to hit pedestrian Mario Reyes and kill him. There are not many parties commenting right now but it has been leaked by two different sources that his levels were between .08 and .16. Legal level is .08. So far no files have been charged against him.

If charged it would be a DUI manslaughter charge and carry a maximum 15 year prison sentence.

*Source: Yahoo.com

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Steroids Are My Friend

Ok, look...I can hardly type my fingers are so damn swollen. Last Saturday I came down with the "Funga Munga" also known as upper respiratory infection. They gave me a Z pack of anti-biotics and sent me home.

Last night I developed this wild itching sensation on my thighs. From there it spread to my arms, hands, face, neck, feet and pretty much every where else you can imagine. Uh huh. I was scratching my butt today and I did not give a damn who saw me.

After a night of barely sleeping, I called the doctor and he got me in today. After talking things over he has decided I am severely allergic to the Z pack and he shot me in the hip with steroids! Then he also gave me a 9 day supply to take in pill form.

I love this shit! Why did I not jump on the Roidwagon long ago????? My face has almost returned from the purple alien with baseballs in her cheeks look I had this morning. The itching is not near as bad and I have picked up and moved my living room furniture around 20 times during American Idol (why doesn't everyone vote the blind guy off???? It is driving me nuts!). I can't wait to take the next 3 pills in the morning. I will probably be on our work parking lot dragging cars around with my pinkie finger!

"I am strong!

I am invincible!"

I am Roid Woman!

How Gay Is A-Roid?

Looks like A-roid is having an affair with his favorite person, himself.

A-Rod does an interview for Details magazine and they took this lovely photo of him. Yea, looks like he is on the roids, those guns are unreal.

I can't wait for this to come out. I may just have to buy it to throw things at the photo.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day Boys!

Some eye candy to make your St. Patrick's day even better!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Lane Kiffin Finally Does Something Right

Lane Kiffin has recruited some talent for my Tennessee Vols. He has scored Bryce Brown, the #2 running back prospect this year.

Brown, played in Wichita, Kansas at East High. Last year's numbers?
1807 yards and 29 touchdowns. Oh yea baby!

Finally that little turd Kiffin does something right.

Let's Dance Baby!

It is that time again to eat lots of pizza, lay on the couch in your pjs and watch umpteen hours of college basketball a day. In order to accomplish that you must call in sick every Thursday and Friday for the next few weeks. God I love this time of year!

Started working on my bracket this morning and I am pumped. Gonna win the office pool and gonna beat Tbone and Jimmy in the Jackass bracket contest. Any of you wanna take me on go sign up for the Jackass bracket and I will take you down as well. Wooooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Joey Galloway Gets Signed

According to ESPN, Joey Galloway has signed a one year deal with the New England Patriots.

He has a better chance of getting more playing time for the Patriots than he would have with the Steelers but still, I really had hoped the Steelers could have landed him.

Interview With a Hockey Player

Ok, so he doesn't play hockey anymore...what do you want from me? It has been a very slow sports day.

This is my good buddy Jimmy and back in the day he was a huge up and coming hockey player in Canada. I sat down with Jimmy yesterday to re-live the good old days and find out what is was like to be considered a super star in a sport that I just don't understand.

What positions did you play when you played hockey?

Well when I wasn’t re-filling the water bottles and folding the towels…no no..actually I was always on the first line with my good buddy, he should have been my brother because we started playing hockey together at such a young age. But I was a center, winger, and defense. I was too big of a pussy to stand in front of a 90 mile an hour slap shot so I never went between the pipes. But I always played goalie in road hockey, less running the better for this fat boy.

How old were you when you learned to ice skate?

Being that I was born in Toronto Canada which is the hockey MECCA of the world. Any time a woman gives birth they give you a pair of ice skates as you leave the hospital, so I was skating right when I exited the womb. I actually started skating when I was two. They were these pimpin’ Velcro to my shoe double bladed skates that my dad rented for me at the famous Port Credit Hockey Arena back in 79’. I started playing officially when I was 4.

Did you get lots of chicks for being an awesome hockey player?

Sadly no, I didn’t, I was visually challenged as a teen, I was completely awkward around girls, I couldn’t even talk to them, but thank god my braces came off and I FINALLY grew at 15-16 than I started scoring babes left and right. It was the best 10-15 seconds of their LIVES. I know they saw god because they said oh my god that’s it???? I was like damn right baby, but if you want to ride the wild JIMBO he has lots of reserves in the tank. My best year for scoring non-skanky chicks was when I was 17 playing high school in the states and I was a super stud player by then and I was being recruited by Notre Dame, Michigan, Mich-State, etc…I was scoring tons of chicks. Two to three different girls a night sometimes. There were always after game parties at my buddies’ house. His name was Jared, and he only let the best looking, dumb blonde broads in and they all wanted a crack at Jimbo ahhhhhh yah!!! Jared’s parents room, garage, bathroom, little bro’s room were targets of many fun filled nights.

Best moment in your hockey career…

It would have to be two. I scored the game winner in OT to win the championship in 95 and scored the winning goal in regulation to win a hockey tourney in Meaford, ON in 94. I got so laid after those games. I still have the bruises and bite marks to prove it.

What number did you wear?

It would be different most years just because I was always switching teams upping the competition because I was a good player but I would always try for 14, 7, 4 (after the greatest player ever not named Gretzky Bobby Orr) and 17 after the greatest Toronto Maple Leaf player ever Wendell Clark!!!

Hardest thing about playing hockey…

I was such a short shit it sucked getting the piss beat out of me every night. I used to fight all the time so my teammates didn’t think I was a pussy and I used to get the crap beat out of me but once I FINALLY grew I was finally able to give out some of the beatings I took. Also it was taking the injections just to play, getting your teeth knocked out. One game a puck was tipped in front of the net and knocked my bottom teeth out and I finished the game with some numbing gel over the nerve and teeth fragments left in my mouth.

Which pro player could you outscore today?

Everyone of them except Sidney Crosby and Ovechkin. But give me 3 months to get in shape and I will be taking them down as well. Holla at yo boy.

Do you still have a 6 pack and if yes, can I see it???

I did at one time and I still have the pics to prove it, but nowadays my six pack better resembles a six pack of Bud.

Celebrity crush?
Oh GOD!!! I am a total horn dog. I would take Gina Carano, Alyssa Milano, Brittany Snow, Vanessa Minnillo, Megan Fox, Julianne Hough, Carrie Underwood, and Kellie Pickler.

Favorite song to get you pumped for a game?

Thunderstruck by AC/DC, Grace too by The Tragically Hip or anything by Metallica.

Join me next week to learn what happened to this young man's hockey career.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Holt Released

Breaking news on ESPN...Torry Holt has been released from the St. Louis Rams.

It will be pretty interesting to see where he goes. For some reason the Eagles popped into my head right away.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

T.O. Gets His Way AGAIN

James Hardy has given up his #81 to Terrell Owens. Hardy will switch to #84.

I hope at least he made Terrell pay for the number. He always gets his damn way.

I Knew It!

In all the drama last week with the missing boat and football players I noticed when Rebekah Cooper was being interviewed it almost looked like she was smiling. I was thinking to myself she is getting an insurance policy and knows all about it.

Seems my hunch was correct. She is now trying to get a death certificate only a week after her husband's death. Once she has that death certificate she can start working on getting her money. Nice, real nice. Another money grub in the world.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Chris Carr To Visit The Steelers Today

Chris Carr a corner from the Tennessee Titans will be visiting with the Steelers today.

Looks like they are looking to replace McFadden with a free agent instead of through the draft.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Steelers Considering Signing Galloway

Looks like the Steelers are interested in signing Joey Galloway to a one year deal.

I am excited about this, the dude can still fly down the field and he usually catches the ball unlike Limas Sweed.

Galloway is also talking to the Patriots. Let's hope he comes to his senses and blows them off.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Geno Hayes Forgot To Take Out The Trash

This poor bastard, aka Geno Hayes, obviously forgot to take out the trash because his girlfriend stabbed him in the head with a pair of scissors and in the neck with a knife. And you thought Chris Brown was a meanie?????

Geno was a 6th round draft pick for the Tampa Bay Bucs last year and has issues picking women for himself. Shevelle Bagley, 19, was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

When she gets out of jail, can you imagine the make up sex????????????

T.O. To Snowy Buffalo

I doubt you will see T.O. working out in his driveway like this in Buffalo...entirely too cold and the snow will be so deep we would not be able to see him doing his crunches except for the shifting of the snow.

A one year, $6.5 million dollar deal to play in Buffalo. To see him on one side and Lee Evans on the other is pretty exciting but I have a feeling he will destroy Trent Edwards.

I just can't wait for the season to start!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Dallas Cowboys: T.O. Has Got To Go

The Cowboys have released Terrell Owens and now we get to watch the freaks come out and try to pick him up.

I hope he goes to the Chiefs so I can watch the drama up close and personal.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

More NFL Signings...

Laveranues Coles has signed a 4 year, $28 million dollar deal with the Bengals. Poor bastard.

Ray Lewis has come to an agreement in principle to re-sign with the Ravens on a 3 year deal worth around $7 million per year.

The Arizona Cardinals finally came to their senses and re-signed Kurt Warner to a 2 year, $23 million dollar deal. $19 million of which is guaranteed. Good for Kurt!

The Denver Broncos continue signing running backs by grabbing up Lamont Jordan for 2 years and $2.5 million dollars.

The Detroit Lions grabbed Phillip Buchanon for a 2 year, $8.5 million dollar contract.

Everybody is getting paid but me, what is the deal????

Mail Time

This is just classic Ditka. I sent him this 8x10 of him flipping off the camera man and look what he wrote, "Your #1". Maybe he meant, "you're" and it is scribbled and I cannot tell. Either way this is funny shit. I did ask Mike to personalize it with my name but I guess he didn't have the time.

This is probably by far the funniest I have gotten back so far. It only took 32 days to get it back which is not too bad at all.

Manny Reachs A Deal With the Dodgers

Manny has reached a deal with the Dodgers for the $45 million and 2 years they offered him.

I am thinking he came back to this offer because nobody else wanted him. Good call Manny you greedy bastard!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Big Ben Turns 27

It seems Ben was celebrating his birthday in Vegas with some Steeler buddies last weekend and this chick tried to tackle him. I guess Ray Lewis is the least of Ben's problems.

Hey bitch! Get off my man! He is officially only 10 years younger than me now and I think that is somewhat acceptable in certain countries and I am willing to buy our plane tickets to go there.

Photo: TMZ

Monday, March 2, 2009

More NFL Breaking News

I love all the drama the NFL off-season has provided thus far...it's keeping me very busy.

I heard earlier today that the Redskins and Jason Taylor could not negotiate a new contract so they have dropped him. I have a feeling Jerry Jones is already on the phone with him.

Breaking news running across ESPN tonight, T. J. Houshmandzadeh has signed a contract with the Seattle Seahawks. The deal is reportedly worth five years and a little over $40 million. Good for him! Always playing 2nd fiddle with Chad Johnson. He will be the star in Seattle.

Nick Schuyler Found Alive

One of the four boaters has been found alive off the coast in Florida. Nick Schuyler was found clinging to the boat and has been sent to a hospital in the Tampa area. He was found conscious and talking.

How amazing is this??? Now hopefully the police and Coast Guard will have a better idea of what happened to everyone involved.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

NFL News And Notes

Wow, I took a couple of days off and everything goes nuts in the NFL.

First and foremost, it looks like the Chiefs are becoming New England II with the acquisitions of Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel. I think the Chiefs did great in only giving up a 2nd round draft pick for these two.

Brian Dawkins is headed to Denver. This is a real shocker to me, I cannot believe he is out of Philly, I thought he would play his whole career there.

Also in Eagles news, they lost Lito Sheppard. Lito is headed off to the Jets.

Kellen Winslow Jr. was traded away to the Bucs. He really hasn't done much since being drafted, maybe a change of scenery will be good for his career.

The Dallas Cowboys signed Jon Kitna. I have always liked Kitna, he will be a good backup for Romo.

Corey Smith and Marquis Cooper are missing from a fishing trip. They took a boat out fishing the Gulf of Mexico and did not return when they were supposed to. I hope and pray we get good news about these guys but it is not looking good.