Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thunder Doggs vs Scared Hitless Final Day

Thunder Doggs is driving me nuts. I have already conceded most of the pitching categories to him but I am still winning era, saves and losses. A really dumb move on his part I believe is picking up yet another pitcher last night so he can pitch today. Now, another loss cannot hurt him and another win does him no good. The only thing it can do is make his whip and era worse so I think that is great. His little ploy of adding players is starting to cut into my lead. I am now up only by 2 categories, we are at 6-4 today. Believe it or not, we have the same exact batting average and the same exact whip. I am seriously going to have a stroke if I lose to this person. I don't mind being whipped in the finals but to lose to a guy that has it out for me is just not going to happen.

So once again, I ask for your help (that Pujols curse really worked...he went 1-5 and had only 1 RBI that night). Here is his lineup for today...wish lots of naked John McCain, Bill Clinton and Charlie Weis in their heads! Please, I beg of you!

C-Kelly Shoppach-where did this guy come from? He is tearing it up lately. Massive case of diarrhea for you today!
1B- Albert Pujols- nothing needs to be said.
2B-Brian Roberts
3B-Ryan Zimmerman
SS-Mike Aviles- how can a Royals player be so good???
OF-Milton Bradley- Got kicked out of the game last night...please freak out again today.
OF-Coco Crisp-he is seriously on fire lately-Bill Clinton naked for you.
OF-Corey Hart
Util-Carlos Delgado-Remember when the Mets blew it down the stretch last year...please repeat.
SP-Jeremy Sowers, Cleveland Indians. Not sure who he is but I need big numbers from the Royals today (well except for Aviles).

Ok, I think that should do it. I solemly promise not to ask for any curses next week when I move on to play for the championship because I doubt whoever I play will stoop so low to add players every single day.

Here are a few players on my team to have some positive thoughts for:

A-Rod- sat out the 1st game of a doubleheader yesterday, does he not realize that screws me up??? Said he had a sore neck, I am sure from doing Madonna. Dude, your team could possibly miss the playoffs again this year, start thinking with your big bat and not your little bat!

Vernon Wells- came off the DL on fire, has slowed down a bit. Need some help today from him.

Mark Teixeira- missed 3 games this week with an infection??? You are killing me!

Jermaine Dye- only player I have today playing a double header.

Jacoby Ellsbury- I only lead stolen bases by 1. I would feel much better with one more on the board.

Adrian Gonzalez- Please rip a few more homers today.

There we have it. Today is the day. Everything must fall into place for this to happen. Fantasy Gods, I beckon you to give those what they deserve today. A win for team Scared Hitless and a trip into the fantasy baseball offseason for Thunder Doggs!

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