Monday, October 6, 2008

Top 10 Sports Celebrities That Might Cause Me to Poop My Pants If I Were to Meet Them

I had a dream last night that I was a friend of Ben Roethlisberger. I assume it was because of watching his performance on Sunday Night football and who wouldn't want to be his friend after that. So I started thinking about all the athletes I have looked up to over the years and which ones of those, if I actually had the chance to meet them, might make me scream and cry and poop my pants. I thought I would share my list with you and maybe you leave me comments with your list. You might notice a lack of Chicago Cubs on my list. That is because I want to kick most of them in their sacred region right now. I am a little bitter.

10. Gina Carano- If you ever read my blogs you will know that I love her. Maybe too much?? I think she is way cool and a super awesome fighter. An inspiration to women everywhere.

9. Forrest Griffin- I have followed him since the Ultimate Fighter Season 1. I love watching him fight because he has heart, he will never give up no matter what and he is tough.

8. Larry Bird- Growing up, I loved the Celtics. I have such great memories of Larry playing. I almost did meet him once. He was playing in a charity golf tournament in Arkansas and I went to watch. I was walking towards the driving range and noticed this swarming crowd headed my way. I looked up in time to see Larry grab my shoulders and move me out of his way. He touched me! Yes, I did soil myself.

7. Pat Summit- Growing up in Tennessee you just have to love the Vols. Pat has always been an inspiration to me in that a woman can do just as many great things as a man can do.

6. George Brett-I played t-ball pretty well when I was a kid. After my parents divorced, my mom moved us to Missouri. That is where I fell in love with George Brett. I had George Brett cleats, a glove, a bat and a t-shirt. I was the female George Brett. I begged to play 3rd base but as close as I got was one season at shortstop. I tried to explain to my two female coaches my need to play 3rd but they never got it. I would stand out at shortstop and scream, "Hey bitches! Put me on 3rd or I drop the next pop fly!" Ok, maybe I didn't say it out loud but I was thinking it!

5. Ben Roethlisberger-What can I say? I love him. I think he is great. I want to be his friend. Or his sister. Or his girlfriend. Or his maid. Or his waitress. I just want to be near him. Yes, I have a problem.

4. Michael Jordan- He and Larry are the only reasons I ever watched basketball. I don't watch it so much anymore. I like Carmelo but I don't think he will ever compare to Bird or Jordan. Jordan was just so special. One year when he was playing with the Wizards, I spent over $600 for a pair of tickets to see him play in Dallas on Christmas Eve. We got a terrible snowstorm here that day and my flight was cancelled. I cried for a very long time, not sure if it is because I missed seeing Jordan play or the fact that I had just lost $600.

3. Muhammad Ali-He is the greatest of all time. We will never see another Ali.

2. Tiger Woods-I play quite a bit of golf so I know how difficult the sport is. I also know how easy Tiger makes it look. He has made golf cool.

1. Terry Bradshaw-Oh I know, he is probably not on any lists but mine. That's ok. I idolize the man. I grew up in the 70's watching Terry light it up. After my parents divorced, Terry divorced his wife. I told my mom, "Um, hey, can you marry Terry Bradshaw now? I would like him to be my dad."

I had a Terry Bradshaw bike. I slept in his jersey. I had a poster of him on my bedroom wall when most little girls my age had posters of David Cassidy or Rick Springfield. He is it for me, my all-time sports idol. As much as I was jealous of the little boy in the Coke/Mean Joe Greene commercial, I would have told Joe to shove his jersey where the sun don't shine for a chance to spend two minutes talking to Terry Bradshaw.

That is my list. I would like to see yours. These lists are what makes us the crazy sports fans that we are.


Tiffany said...

You are very funny. And I love you very much however, Geno Auriemma could whip Pat Summit's ass any day of any week.
I have met Larry Bird, in the flesh at a dinner when I lived in Bean town. Be jealous.
George Brett is da
Now, my love list consists of George Clooney, hands down. I love that man and I know he's coming for me one day. That girl fighter is very hot. I could go lesbo on her ass. I totally understand your obsession with having to wear clothes and such that had your fav person on them when you were a mere chap. I had to have my Yankees jacket on all the time but my favorite was of course my Shawn Cassidy jeans, and baby blue satin jacket that had his picture on the back. I think my Mom ordered it from the JC Penney catalog and I had to wear that crap to the skating rink every Friday night with my comb in my back pocket....ahhh the memories.

Chanin Bissinger said...

Um, Pat holds the record baby. Most wins by any coach ever division 1! So tell Gino to sit his ass back down and keep dreaming.

Grumpy said...

Hey, I emailed you a pic of me and some friends with Ben but never heard back from you. He is a great guy and actually kind of shy until you get to know him.

Tiffany said...

Geno is fucking hot though. Pat is a closet dyke. I'm convinced of it.
That is why she divorced her husband for her asst. coach or so that was what a close friend once told me she believed.... :)

Chanin Bissinger said...

Oh my God are you serious????? Ok, I never got a picture...for real. I will give you every e-mail address I own. Please re-send! (work)
How many more can I come up with?? Oh here...
Seriously, send it when you have time, I would LOVE to see it. And if he ever needs his shoes shined...let me know! I am the girl for the job! LOL

Chanin Bissinger said...

I don't care if Pat is a closet case. I really don't. The woman can coach! And I love her. I actually know a lady that goes to church with her in Knoxville. I have considered stalking her and hanging out in a church to meet her but I know that would probably get me an express ticket to hell.

Tiffany said...

your ticket to hell was punched a long time ago....

Chanin Bissinger said...

Hmmm, you might be right Tiff. Only a true friend would remind me of that. Thank You.

Mind of MadMan said...

Ali, Jordan, and Gina I have met. They sure as hell do not remember me, but I met them.
Gina at a Starchucks in LV when I lived their (also met Amare in AZ),
Rodman also in LV.
Ali in the 70's in Chicago and Jordan in the 80's in Chi...
Now I would like to ask just one question:
Do any of you need a son, Father, cheap, weathered, and knowledgeable??

Chanin Bissinger said...

Dude you get around! How did you meet all these folks??

Listen, I don't care if they remember me or not. I just want a photo, a memory. Just two minutes to be able to tell them how much they meant to me and I would be thrilled.

Mind of MadMan said...

Girlfriend, I have lived in 8 differnat states, driven cross country 5 times, and had and uncanning knack for sometimes being in the right place at the right time. SOMETIMES... Also have met Harry Cary, Bill Veeck, Sidney Poiter. Sidney said the most interesting thing to me back in 1973? when I was at a theather production of his..
"Young Man. The world revolves around souls like yours."
Never knew what that meant until about 15 years ago.
Ali was visiting one of his many girl toys in Chicago. Just so happened to be aroud the area that I lived. One of the other kids got me from the house and by the time we arrived about 10 blocks away, off of King Drive in Chicago's South Side, it was close too 500 people their. He was very handsome then with long legs and golden brown skin and the biggest hands of any person that I had ever seen.
Gina was practicing at a Golds Gym in LV around 2005-6, she was and unknow at the time but Ali's Daugther, I believe it was her, also practiced their. I was in the mortgage business at the time and one of my clients wanted me to meet them their and she came out. Small group around her, and the guy told me who it was. I was not into MMA at that time so I did not care... She is VERY beautiful with a killer body. Girl, she is f'ing fast on the heavy bag and it was thumping LOUDLY...
Amare was at a Starchucks on Camelback in AZ, close to where his apartment is. Every orning he is their around 10 AM getting a white chocalate mocha.Several stars stay in the apartment building.
Rodman was exiting a plan that my daugther was on coming into LV on a Friday night. The airport their is crazy with a area that they hide celebs in. Hundreds of limos are parked on a special strip. You can sit up their and see every star imagined. But Rodman walked off of the plane with this short white guy (5'5" MAX) maybe agent not sure. This guy was yapping on the phone stumbling with a briefcase.Rodman had on his dark glasses and a hoddie but still had his piercing in. He is one big MF, and I mean BIG. Very imposing and rude. Several people spotted him and started snaping pics.. I was just annoyed that the plane took so long to taxi in.
Last but not least Jordan. I went back to Chi for the Bulls 2nd championship. My brother (#3 in blogs) had tickets to the game at the arena center, game 5 I think... I had bought this nice leather, red Bulls jacket with with teh huge Bull on the back and other logos on front, shoulder.. cost me about 6 bills.. Wore it to the game, and after the game my brother took me out by locker and their was Pippen, Jordan, Grant, Cartwright ( i think it was 92?) yapping. My brother told them I was from the West coast and since they where playing the Trailblazers and I grew up in Chi, I came back for the game..
Pippen, and Jordan signed the jacket.. No Sh*t... I gave that jacket to my son that is now 17. Oh yeah, btw, I won the money from the trip while in Reno. Drove their from Washington while trying to rehab myself off of crank... but that is another story....

Chanin Bissinger said...

Dang Madman! You have had a wild and crazy life! Very interesting what Sidney said to you.
I only get to meet country music stars...don't think I have ever met a sports star at all other than Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Warren Spahn.