Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Real Reason Derrick Mason Unretired

One of my sources e-mailed me a copy of a letter that Joe Flacco sent to Derrick Mason. I thought I would share this with totally explains why Derrick Mason unretired and came into Ravens camp this afternoon.

Dear D-Mason,

How you doing??? Playing lots of golf and enjoying your retirement I hope.

There is a very good reason I am writing you today. I have no one left to throw the ball to. Oh yea, I know Todd Heap and Mark Clayton but really??? Come on. Heap is out for weeks if he stubs his toe and Clayton drops everything I throw his way. That bastard Drew Bennett retired last week so I am seriously running out of options quickly. So I am writing to you with hopes of you unretiring and joining the team again. Brett Favre and MJ did it, why can't you?

I think we stand a real chance this year of going to the Superbowl and let me tell you why...Roethlisberger is all distracted by his TV repair woman problems and when he is distracted he plays like hell. This is our only chance to ever get past them! They beat us 3 times last year but I think this just might be our year my friend.

Now look, I don't want to get pushy or anything but let me just throw this out there. If you don't come back and come back quickly, I will be forced to release the sex video of me and your Mom. It might be a little embarrassing for me but mainly for you because I am sure you have heard by now...once you go Flacco you don't go backo. Holla!

Your buddy,
Joe Flacco


Grumpy said...

That is hilarious.

nu G said...

You have outdone yourself!
Can't stop laughing :)