Crazy Lady Doesn't Like The Cowboys

This woman has been accused of killing her husband because he turned up the volume of the tv during a Dallas Cowboys game. It seems she might have stabbed him in the heart which fatally wounded the man.

I saw this on Deadspin this morning and could not help but chuckle. I mean first of all look at the lady...you can tell by looking at her you should not cross her crazy ass. She could play the Joker in the next Batman movie...check out that creepy smile.

I can't say I blame her in this case. I don't want a damn Cowboys game cranked up in my house either. So after some thinking I have come up with a list of things that just might get you stabbed while visiting my house...

1. Wearing ANYTHING that says Dallas Cowboys on it inside my home. I don't want to see a Romo jersey or Dallas socks and especially not Dallas undies.

2. Referring to the Cowboys as "America's Team". They haven't done shit in years...give it up already.

3. Taking a piss on my big screen.

4. Saying anything negative about Forrest Griffin, Gina Carano or Terry Bradshaw.

5. Wearing a Bill Belichick "Magic" hoody in my house.

6. Referring to Nascar as a sport.

7. Smoke in my house.

8. Try on my underwear, bras or dresses.

9. Declare you will run the Jim Jones Bar during a football party.

10. If you start filing your teeth down and making "Twilight" references.

10 Reasons I Love Shane Battier

1. He is hot.

2. He is hot.

3. He is hot.

4. He is super hot.

5. He wears white button up shirts...super sexy (yes I am easily turned on...oh look another random fact about me!).

6. I think the little gap between his front teeth is kind of cute.

7. He plays good solid defense.

8. He can shut down that little bastard Kobe Bryant.

9. He took out Lamar Odom.

10. 6'8 and 220. Need I say more????

Nuggets Fail To Get It Done Last Night

Ah those Nuggets really let me down last night losing a close one to the Mavericks. They let Nowitzki go nuts in the 4th quarter, he scored 19 of his 44 points in the 4th.

Along with a great game came some drama in the stands due to Cuban and his stupid big mouth from Game 3. He told Kenyon Martin's mother that her son was a thug. That had the Dallas fans sitting around his mom last night talking some more smack and getting Kenyon ready to go in the crowd and give them a beat down.

Real nice Mark. Guess all that money was not able to buy you an ounce of class. Good to know I won't have to look at your stupid face for awhile after game 5.

Happy Mother's Day

There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I had pooped out of my hot pocket these wonderfully talented Jonas Brothers. My life would be so different. Instead of sitting at my computer all day, pumping out sports blogs in my pajamas, I would be pool side pumping margaritas down my throat and flirting with the pool boy. Instead of driving a Kia Rondo, I would be driving a Bentley. Instead of talking to rude truck drivers all day, I would be speaking to my masseuse, my housekeeper, my chef and my personal trainer. But I have made the decision to not have children (this decision was made after babysitting for a friend and she comes home early to find her children locked in a closet) so therefore I must deal with my life without Jonas money.

Mothers give so much of themselves. Like all the time. I would find that ok for about the first 6 months and then I would have to sell my child on Ebay. I prefer for the most part to not be bothered by anyone so to have a child wake me up in the middle of the night vomiting up the 50 Bagel Bites I told him not to eat would send me over the edge. Mothers are very special people, because they have the ability to sacrifice themselves to the point they don't resemble the person they were before giving birth. Who else would do that??? No one. No one in their right mind at least.

So on this Mother's Day, try to remember your mother was probably cool and not so psycho before you came into this world. Also important to remember, she brought you into this world and she is capable of taking you right back out of it.

Happy Mother's Day!

Carmelo Saves The Day

That shot was awesome! With Antoine Wright bumping into him, he threw up a 3 pt shot and hit it to lead the Nuggets to a 106-105 win in Dallas. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Carmelo???

The Dallas fans are a little crabby today because the NBA officials have come forward and announced they clearly should have called an intentional foul on Antoine Wright for bumping Carmelo twice before he got the shot off. Mark Cuban left the court livid. But that of course makes the win just that much better. Mark Cuban is a douche. Facts are Mark, your team chokes. They won't win this series and probably won't ever win a championship with you as owner so maybe you should see if "Dancing With the Stars" will give you another shot. It is going to be a hard off-season for you.

Jimmy's Freaky Frisky Friday...Jenna Dewan

Jenna Dewan, actress, dancer and hottie. Ms Dewan was in the movie "Step Up" and has worked as a dancer for a variety of musicians such as Justin Timberlake, Ricky Martin, Janet Jackson and Pink.

Jenna Dewan, Jimmy's Frisky Friday victim and for good reason. Nice pick Jimbo!

Manny Ramirez Suspended

SI.com is reporting Manny has been suspended 50 games for a postive drug test.

More on this when it becomes available.