If I were Joe Torre for a day...the very first thing I would do is to resign as Yankees manager and tell George Steinbrenner to kiss my hairy ass. Does this jackass truly think I would not have at least five offers to manage other teams next year??? Does he think he can find a better manager??? I only led this team to a 97-65 record and a playoff birth even though two of my stars were hurt for a good part of the season. A copy of my letter of resignation:
Dear Mr. Bossman,
You are an idiot. You spent tons and tons of money on an amazing roster and still cannot make your way to a World Series title. Take a look at the Tigers roster...not even close to ours in dollars, yet they are going to the World Series while we will be sitting at home polishing the trophies from years gone by. Get a clue, would you????????? Baseball is a game of passion, not possessions. Quit buying players like you would buy up property...sometimes it just doesn't work out the way you would like it to.
I am going to move on to bigger and better things. Good luck trying to find another manager to put up with your crap. Don't call me next year when you are 40-122.
Sincerely,
Joe Torre
p.s. A-rod needs to be traded.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Denver Broncos 3rd String Fan Fair
A few weeks ago I was crusing Ticketmaster looking for some Clay Aiken tickets (don't say a word) and what do I spot? An opportunity to purchase tickets to attend the Denver Broncos Fan Fair. The ad said you can have your picture made with players, the Lombardi trophy and get many autographs from the players. Since I have never met a professional football player before I thought this might be my shot. Now, I am a die hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan.
After last year's loss to the Steelers at home, one game away from the Super Bowl, I knew my Polamalu jersey was just not the thing to wear. So why not pretend to be a Broncos fan for just one weekend???I ordered several things on Ebay I deemed necessary to pull this off. First was something for the players to sign. What better than a limited edition white panel football that has all the championships and playoff wins printed on it? Next I needed attire. After many hours of searching I came across a t-shirt someone had made that says, "If you are not a Broncos fan, you must be a jack-ass." It had a lovely picture of a donkey with boots and overalls on. I also found a #85 jersey...not sure who that is but it is cheap so I get it also. That should do it. I call up 3 of my friends and ask them to go with me just in case I would blow my cover once inside the Invesco confines by shouting, "My Steelers beat the living @#*^ out of your precious little ponies!"... always good to have backup.
Only one friend agreed to ride with me the first day of Fan Fair (I suspect everyone knows I have road rage just as bad as Jake Plummer). Ok, so I was a little anxious and arrived two hours before the event. But boy does arriving early pay off! I got some free orange milk that made me want to puke and I got a Broncos alumni's autograph as he pushed his walker across the parking lot.Finally, the gates open. This was just not the event I had envisioned. After 2 hours in line I had 3 autographs...some big hairy offensive lineman, a coach of some sort and Ian Gold. Ian turned out to be the one bright spot of my weekend. He was very sweet and had far less bling than the others. He actually thanked me for coming out. Poor man has no idea I really want to ask him how it felt to have Jerome Bettis run over him.There was a large commotion and many fans started racing for an autograph line. I ask someone who was signing and I was told Champ Bailey. Well alright, a big time player, let's go! Three hours later I had Ron Dayne's autograph. It seems the players would only sign for one hour and them move on. So at this point I have stood in lines for 7 hours. My feet hurt...my back hurts and I am getting angry. I had walked all over looking to have my picture made with the Lombardi trophy. I have no idea where that was going on. The line to have your picture made with a player was even longer than the autograph lines and I seriously doubted those players would appreciate a whiff of me at this point.
I could stand no longer, so we left around 4:30pm...30 minutes before the event ended for the day. I was in pain driving home, in pain sleeping, just in pain period. The next morning was not any better. Three of my four friends called one hour before we were to leave to cancel. They said they felt like they had been hit by a train. Wimps! Finally, I convinced one friend to go for only three hours. This would be a new day! I know my way around the stadium now and I also know not to drink orange milk.Standing in line outside waiting for them to open up the gates I notice a guy signing that looks like Jay Cutler. Well, I am positive it is Jay. So I tell my friend to stay in line while I run over to get him to sign my ball. Jay Cutler is the main reason I came to this event. I think he is great. Even with his shaggy dog hair. I stand and wait for him to get close...stick my ball out and he takes it!!! Holy Bronco! I am about to get Jay Cutler's signature on my ball! He hands it back and I say, "Thank you Mr. Cutler." He looks at me like I am from another planet. Finally, he says, "I am not Jay Cutler, I am Rob, an offensive lineman." Please God, let the earth open and swallow me! I could not tell an NFL QB from an O-lineman. He really didn't look big...I swear! I looked him up on my roster sheet I had printed off on the internet and Rob is a practice squad o-lineman. Maybe they don't get fed as well as the starting o-lineman, maybe that is why I thought he was a QB. Whatever, as you can imagine my day was off to a bang of a start.I get in the 1st autograph line I come to and there is Darrent Williams. I like him. After two hours standing in line when I got up to the table I had a punter that looked like he was 18 years old and guaranteed not to make the team, another offensive lineman and Gerard Warren.
In line I had overheard someone say they had asked someone when Plummer, Lynch, Smith, Cutler and all the other stars would arrive to sign and he was told they would be in around 2pm on Sunday. The event ends at 5pm! They show up for a whole 3 hours out of 14! Now I feel cheated. What is the point really? So that was it, I walked out of Fan Fair. I just think it is a joke to have mainly practice squad players and 6th string tight ends signing for the fans. Chances are they will not make the team. So I would like to thank the Denver Broncos organization for my heat stroke, a serious case of indigestion from the orange milk and for a ball signed by every 3rd-6th string player not yet on the team. Rob Hunt, I apologize for thinking you were Cutler. Ian Gold, thank you for being such a sweetheart. But next year, I think I would rather stay at home and polish all of my Steelers memoribilia.
After last year's loss to the Steelers at home, one game away from the Super Bowl, I knew my Polamalu jersey was just not the thing to wear. So why not pretend to be a Broncos fan for just one weekend???I ordered several things on Ebay I deemed necessary to pull this off. First was something for the players to sign. What better than a limited edition white panel football that has all the championships and playoff wins printed on it? Next I needed attire. After many hours of searching I came across a t-shirt someone had made that says, "If you are not a Broncos fan, you must be a jack-ass." It had a lovely picture of a donkey with boots and overalls on. I also found a #85 jersey...not sure who that is but it is cheap so I get it also. That should do it. I call up 3 of my friends and ask them to go with me just in case I would blow my cover once inside the Invesco confines by shouting, "My Steelers beat the living @#*^ out of your precious little ponies!"... always good to have backup.
Only one friend agreed to ride with me the first day of Fan Fair (I suspect everyone knows I have road rage just as bad as Jake Plummer). Ok, so I was a little anxious and arrived two hours before the event. But boy does arriving early pay off! I got some free orange milk that made me want to puke and I got a Broncos alumni's autograph as he pushed his walker across the parking lot.Finally, the gates open. This was just not the event I had envisioned. After 2 hours in line I had 3 autographs...some big hairy offensive lineman, a coach of some sort and Ian Gold. Ian turned out to be the one bright spot of my weekend. He was very sweet and had far less bling than the others. He actually thanked me for coming out. Poor man has no idea I really want to ask him how it felt to have Jerome Bettis run over him.There was a large commotion and many fans started racing for an autograph line. I ask someone who was signing and I was told Champ Bailey. Well alright, a big time player, let's go! Three hours later I had Ron Dayne's autograph. It seems the players would only sign for one hour and them move on. So at this point I have stood in lines for 7 hours. My feet hurt...my back hurts and I am getting angry. I had walked all over looking to have my picture made with the Lombardi trophy. I have no idea where that was going on. The line to have your picture made with a player was even longer than the autograph lines and I seriously doubted those players would appreciate a whiff of me at this point.
I could stand no longer, so we left around 4:30pm...30 minutes before the event ended for the day. I was in pain driving home, in pain sleeping, just in pain period. The next morning was not any better. Three of my four friends called one hour before we were to leave to cancel. They said they felt like they had been hit by a train. Wimps! Finally, I convinced one friend to go for only three hours. This would be a new day! I know my way around the stadium now and I also know not to drink orange milk.Standing in line outside waiting for them to open up the gates I notice a guy signing that looks like Jay Cutler. Well, I am positive it is Jay. So I tell my friend to stay in line while I run over to get him to sign my ball. Jay Cutler is the main reason I came to this event. I think he is great. Even with his shaggy dog hair. I stand and wait for him to get close...stick my ball out and he takes it!!! Holy Bronco! I am about to get Jay Cutler's signature on my ball! He hands it back and I say, "Thank you Mr. Cutler." He looks at me like I am from another planet. Finally, he says, "I am not Jay Cutler, I am Rob, an offensive lineman." Please God, let the earth open and swallow me! I could not tell an NFL QB from an O-lineman. He really didn't look big...I swear! I looked him up on my roster sheet I had printed off on the internet and Rob is a practice squad o-lineman. Maybe they don't get fed as well as the starting o-lineman, maybe that is why I thought he was a QB. Whatever, as you can imagine my day was off to a bang of a start.I get in the 1st autograph line I come to and there is Darrent Williams. I like him. After two hours standing in line when I got up to the table I had a punter that looked like he was 18 years old and guaranteed not to make the team, another offensive lineman and Gerard Warren.
In line I had overheard someone say they had asked someone when Plummer, Lynch, Smith, Cutler and all the other stars would arrive to sign and he was told they would be in around 2pm on Sunday. The event ends at 5pm! They show up for a whole 3 hours out of 14! Now I feel cheated. What is the point really? So that was it, I walked out of Fan Fair. I just think it is a joke to have mainly practice squad players and 6th string tight ends signing for the fans. Chances are they will not make the team. So I would like to thank the Denver Broncos organization for my heat stroke, a serious case of indigestion from the orange milk and for a ball signed by every 3rd-6th string player not yet on the team. Rob Hunt, I apologize for thinking you were Cutler. Ian Gold, thank you for being such a sweetheart. But next year, I think I would rather stay at home and polish all of my Steelers memoribilia.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Nick Saban's "The New Colossus"
"Give me your troubled, your no-show talents,
Your pot smoking masses yearning for no NFL drug policy,
The wretched refuse of your past drafts.
Send these, the unwanted trouble makers, to me.
I lift my ringmaster hat beside the orange and aqua door."
With Nick Saban recently signing Daunte Culpepper, Marcus Vick and Joey Harrington, then sending Ricky Williams off to the CFL to play, I just had to have my say in this. Has this man lost his mind or is he a genius??? Only the 2006 NFL season holds the answers and until then we all must speculate.
Various coaches have taken personnel risks in the past but I cannot remember one that took so many in one year. I cannot argue with his pick up of Culpepper. Culpepper is a proven talent although injured and no one seems certain he will be able to start the season opener for the Dolphins. But Marcus Vick and Joey Harrington??? Vick has talent, Harrington, well I think my sister can throw a better ball. Now, Saban has agreed to let Ricky Williams play in the CFL for one year. Saban has his hands full at this point so I guess sending Ricky off for a year might not be such a bad idea. Instead of creeping around Ricky's windows, making sure he isn't smoking pot, Saban will be tailing Vick around town to make sure he doesn't point his cell phone at anyone that might mistake it for a gun.
Good luck Mr. Saban! Perhaps Vick will become the next Randle El for your team, a receiver and return man all in one glorious bundle. Or maybe he will stomp on your legs for not letting him be a quarterback.
Perhaps Joey Harrington is the next Joe Montana in the making. Or maybe you might want my sister's number.
Your pot smoking masses yearning for no NFL drug policy,
The wretched refuse of your past drafts.
Send these, the unwanted trouble makers, to me.
I lift my ringmaster hat beside the orange and aqua door."
With Nick Saban recently signing Daunte Culpepper, Marcus Vick and Joey Harrington, then sending Ricky Williams off to the CFL to play, I just had to have my say in this. Has this man lost his mind or is he a genius??? Only the 2006 NFL season holds the answers and until then we all must speculate.
Various coaches have taken personnel risks in the past but I cannot remember one that took so many in one year. I cannot argue with his pick up of Culpepper. Culpepper is a proven talent although injured and no one seems certain he will be able to start the season opener for the Dolphins. But Marcus Vick and Joey Harrington??? Vick has talent, Harrington, well I think my sister can throw a better ball. Now, Saban has agreed to let Ricky Williams play in the CFL for one year. Saban has his hands full at this point so I guess sending Ricky off for a year might not be such a bad idea. Instead of creeping around Ricky's windows, making sure he isn't smoking pot, Saban will be tailing Vick around town to make sure he doesn't point his cell phone at anyone that might mistake it for a gun.
Good luck Mr. Saban! Perhaps Vick will become the next Randle El for your team, a receiver and return man all in one glorious bundle. Or maybe he will stomp on your legs for not letting him be a quarterback.
Perhaps Joey Harrington is the next Joe Montana in the making. Or maybe you might want my sister's number.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wonderlic This!
So Vince Young only scored a 6 on this Wonderlic Test the first time through…big deal! He re-took the test and got a 16. From what I understand an average score for quarterbacks is around 20. I cannot imagine the stress it would put on a person to know their test is compared to other athletes and could determine what position he goes in a draft. Some people just do not test well. Let’s take me for example.
The day I took my ACT test to get into a college was the same day I had front row tickets to see Joan Jett in concert. We had camped out all night long to see Joan up close and personal (to this day I am not sure why) and I was pumped. I was also freaking out about taking this test because it would determine whether I could get into the college of my choice or not.
I get into the classroom to take the test, picked a good seat and got ready to do well on my test. Once the test started I panicked. I could see everyone breezing through their test and I could not get past the 1st question. I started to sweat, feeling I was getting behind and even if I started right now would not finish in time. Then a stroke of brilliance hit me! On the ones that I have no clue what the answer is I will fill in “C” for my first name and the ones that go further in the alphabet I will fill in “J” for Joan! Eureka! And that is how I took my ACT test. I managed to get a 21 on my test and I was completely satisfied with that score because taking a test with that much pressure nearly drove me to alcoholism. Vince, I feel your pain man. I really do.
I really don’t understand why everyone is so hard on him. All he has done is single-handedly won the National Championship by himself. Biggest game of the year, more pressure than I could ever imagine and he put that team on his shoulders and ran with them into the end zone with 19 seconds left in the game to win it all. Why would anyone even question this guy’s ability to play football and understand NFL style defenses? Not sure if you all remember but Pete Carroll was an NFL coach. His defense is an NFL style defense and Mr.Young ran right through it. When that game was over Vince Young had rushed for 200 yards and passed for 267. He had 3 rushing touchdowns. I found someone who agrees with me on this. His name is Sean Jones, and he is a member of the Oakland Raiders personnel department. He had this to say about Vince Young, “All I need to know about Vince Young is that he came up with one of the greatest performances ever in the Rose Bowl. In the fourth quarter, I saw Pete Carroll throw every kind of blitz at Vince. I saw Vince read the blitz and beat the blitz. I don’t care what his Wonderlic score is. The only score I care about is 41-38.” Amen!
Vince recently had his Pro Day where he worked out in front of scouts and coaches from all over the NFL. Almost every pass was on target. For all the folks saying he is only a shotgun quarterback and cannot take snaps from center, he did that also. And even though Vince was not scheduled to run a 40 yard dash on Pro Day, after watching all his teammates run the 40 he decided he too would run. What more could you ask for? You want him to do something and he does it and he does it well.
For those of you saying Vince has dropped out of the top 10 of NFL draft picks because of his Wonderlic Test scores I say to you, Wonderlic this! Vince Young will go within the first 7 picks of the draft and he will be a great quarterback. The teams that pass him up for other quarterbacks will be chewing on their clipboards as he races past your NFL defenses. Go Vince go!
The day I took my ACT test to get into a college was the same day I had front row tickets to see Joan Jett in concert. We had camped out all night long to see Joan up close and personal (to this day I am not sure why) and I was pumped. I was also freaking out about taking this test because it would determine whether I could get into the college of my choice or not.
I get into the classroom to take the test, picked a good seat and got ready to do well on my test. Once the test started I panicked. I could see everyone breezing through their test and I could not get past the 1st question. I started to sweat, feeling I was getting behind and even if I started right now would not finish in time. Then a stroke of brilliance hit me! On the ones that I have no clue what the answer is I will fill in “C” for my first name and the ones that go further in the alphabet I will fill in “J” for Joan! Eureka! And that is how I took my ACT test. I managed to get a 21 on my test and I was completely satisfied with that score because taking a test with that much pressure nearly drove me to alcoholism. Vince, I feel your pain man. I really do.
I really don’t understand why everyone is so hard on him. All he has done is single-handedly won the National Championship by himself. Biggest game of the year, more pressure than I could ever imagine and he put that team on his shoulders and ran with them into the end zone with 19 seconds left in the game to win it all. Why would anyone even question this guy’s ability to play football and understand NFL style defenses? Not sure if you all remember but Pete Carroll was an NFL coach. His defense is an NFL style defense and Mr.Young ran right through it. When that game was over Vince Young had rushed for 200 yards and passed for 267. He had 3 rushing touchdowns. I found someone who agrees with me on this. His name is Sean Jones, and he is a member of the Oakland Raiders personnel department. He had this to say about Vince Young, “All I need to know about Vince Young is that he came up with one of the greatest performances ever in the Rose Bowl. In the fourth quarter, I saw Pete Carroll throw every kind of blitz at Vince. I saw Vince read the blitz and beat the blitz. I don’t care what his Wonderlic score is. The only score I care about is 41-38.” Amen!
Vince recently had his Pro Day where he worked out in front of scouts and coaches from all over the NFL. Almost every pass was on target. For all the folks saying he is only a shotgun quarterback and cannot take snaps from center, he did that also. And even though Vince was not scheduled to run a 40 yard dash on Pro Day, after watching all his teammates run the 40 he decided he too would run. What more could you ask for? You want him to do something and he does it and he does it well.
For those of you saying Vince has dropped out of the top 10 of NFL draft picks because of his Wonderlic Test scores I say to you, Wonderlic this! Vince Young will go within the first 7 picks of the draft and he will be a great quarterback. The teams that pass him up for other quarterbacks will be chewing on their clipboards as he races past your NFL defenses. Go Vince go!
One Case of No Doze Ordered
As promised to my good friend Dave, I gave Nascar one more try. I watched the Auto Club 500 live from Fontana, California. Dave, I must report I had the same problem. I fell asleep yet again. I even went an extra mile this week, making sure I had plenty of sleep the night before. I slept for 9.5 hours on Saturday night so it is not because I am sleep deprived.
I know you suggested it might be NBC's coverage last week and that Fox would cover this one. Nope, no difference. Ok, let me take that back. I only fell asleep ONE time in this race, where last week's I fell asleep twice.I passed out on lap number 55. I partially blame my early exit on the person that books the entertainment for these events. We went from Bon Jovi to Jewel. JEWEL! Jewel and Nascar go together about as well as Godsmack and figure skating. I am not sure who has this job, but I would like to have it. Surely there was someone out there with nothing scheduled on a Sunday who could have put on a better show. A Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band would have gotten the crowd more rev'd up.
Next we have the starting of the engines, which I imagine is supposed to be cool. Last week, James Caan who was trying to be cool for some reason and didn't really get into it. But this week, this week was the best! Shav Glick who I guess is some sort of legendary racing person of some sort. I thought the poor man would keel over dead before he even got to "your engine". Can't Nascar let the old geezers wave a flag or something?Race started and to the left they went. No drama, just lots of left turns. Lap 55 I passed out, I just could not handle all the excitement. I regained consciousness around lap 116. DANG! I woke up entirely too early. 134 more laps to go! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! So I watch. With 72 laps to go I started reading a book. 50 laps to go I went out and cleaned the dust out of my car vents. 35 laps to go I cleaned out the fish tank. 20 laps to go, I decide to try to sit and focus on the end of this race. I am not sure why, but I did. Matt Kenseth won the race. No cool crashes. No drama. I got up from my recliner, went to the phone and ordered a full case of No Doze. Maybe, just maybe I can make it through the Nascar season that way.
I know you suggested it might be NBC's coverage last week and that Fox would cover this one. Nope, no difference. Ok, let me take that back. I only fell asleep ONE time in this race, where last week's I fell asleep twice.I passed out on lap number 55. I partially blame my early exit on the person that books the entertainment for these events. We went from Bon Jovi to Jewel. JEWEL! Jewel and Nascar go together about as well as Godsmack and figure skating. I am not sure who has this job, but I would like to have it. Surely there was someone out there with nothing scheduled on a Sunday who could have put on a better show. A Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band would have gotten the crowd more rev'd up.
Next we have the starting of the engines, which I imagine is supposed to be cool. Last week, James Caan who was trying to be cool for some reason and didn't really get into it. But this week, this week was the best! Shav Glick who I guess is some sort of legendary racing person of some sort. I thought the poor man would keel over dead before he even got to "your engine". Can't Nascar let the old geezers wave a flag or something?Race started and to the left they went. No drama, just lots of left turns. Lap 55 I passed out, I just could not handle all the excitement. I regained consciousness around lap 116. DANG! I woke up entirely too early. 134 more laps to go! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! So I watch. With 72 laps to go I started reading a book. 50 laps to go I went out and cleaned the dust out of my car vents. 35 laps to go I cleaned out the fish tank. 20 laps to go, I decide to try to sit and focus on the end of this race. I am not sure why, but I did. Matt Kenseth won the race. No cool crashes. No drama. I got up from my recliner, went to the phone and ordered a full case of No Doze. Maybe, just maybe I can make it through the Nascar season that way.
198 Days and Counting...
I live for NFL football. I realize to say I live for something like football is quite disturbing but it is the truth. Not counting today, there are 198 days until the Thursday night NFL Kickoff Special. On that day, I will come out of hibernation and begin to live again. Until that day, I am just not sure what to do with myself. Weekend before last I had the Pro Bowl to watch. Do I really enjoy the Pro Bowl?? No. Generally, they are pretty boring games but it represents the last heartbeat in my body before I completely flatline. I realized the day of the Pro Bowl that I have entirely too much free time on my hands now that I don't have football games to watch on Sundays. I began to panic, what will I do with myself?? Exercise? No way Jose! Clean the house?? Absolutely NOT! Scrapbook??? HELL NO!I needed a football substitute, a fix for my addiction. I tried to watch an arena football game. I would say arena football is like a frozen pizza compared to the real deep dish delivered pizza also known as the NFL. Frozen pizza will do in a pinch, but I would rather have the real deal than to eat a frozen pizza.
So this past Sunday I noticed there was a Nascar race on TV. Daytona 500...Superbowl of Nascar they called it. Ahhhhhhhhh here we have it...my football substitute! I have been saved by Tony Stewart and friends! So I climbed into the recliner and got ready for the race, turned on the surround sound and got ready to witness my first Nascar race on my 65 inch big screen. Bon Jovi before the race...ok, this is not bad at all...just like they have artists perform before the Superbowl...I think I will like this! James Caan got them all to start their engines and off they went! In circles... for hours. I think I must have fallen asleep around lap 20. When I woke up they were on lap 100. My God, how long does this sport take to finish? Had I missed anything exciting? After watching for about 10 minutes I find that in fact I had missed nothing but more circles. Again I passed out. I woke up this time with 25 laps to go. Ok, I have to stay awake for the ending of this...I run to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee and dissolve a No Doze in it. Maybe...just maybe I can make it now. Hop back into the recliner and my jittery hand reaches for the surround sound remote control, if I can crank up the sound of the roaring engines maybe that will also prevent me from falling asleep. Not sure really what kept me awake for the end because it was the most uneventful victory I have ever witnessed. Jimmie Johnson won the race. Then he stood on his car and a mega-ton of confetti fell from the air and completely covered the car and Jimmie. Then other drivers accused Jimmie of cheating (the most exciting part of the entire event). That was it. It was over.
I don't get it. At all. Why is this sport so popular? When I wasn't sleeping, I was praying for wrecks or for a fan to run out in the middle of the track.God, help me make it 198 days. Between Nascar and the Olympics I will be well-rested for the beginning of the NFL season.
So this past Sunday I noticed there was a Nascar race on TV. Daytona 500...Superbowl of Nascar they called it. Ahhhhhhhhh here we have it...my football substitute! I have been saved by Tony Stewart and friends! So I climbed into the recliner and got ready for the race, turned on the surround sound and got ready to witness my first Nascar race on my 65 inch big screen. Bon Jovi before the race...ok, this is not bad at all...just like they have artists perform before the Superbowl...I think I will like this! James Caan got them all to start their engines and off they went! In circles... for hours. I think I must have fallen asleep around lap 20. When I woke up they were on lap 100. My God, how long does this sport take to finish? Had I missed anything exciting? After watching for about 10 minutes I find that in fact I had missed nothing but more circles. Again I passed out. I woke up this time with 25 laps to go. Ok, I have to stay awake for the ending of this...I run to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee and dissolve a No Doze in it. Maybe...just maybe I can make it now. Hop back into the recliner and my jittery hand reaches for the surround sound remote control, if I can crank up the sound of the roaring engines maybe that will also prevent me from falling asleep. Not sure really what kept me awake for the end because it was the most uneventful victory I have ever witnessed. Jimmie Johnson won the race. Then he stood on his car and a mega-ton of confetti fell from the air and completely covered the car and Jimmie. Then other drivers accused Jimmie of cheating (the most exciting part of the entire event). That was it. It was over.
I don't get it. At all. Why is this sport so popular? When I wasn't sleeping, I was praying for wrecks or for a fan to run out in the middle of the track.God, help me make it 198 days. Between Nascar and the Olympics I will be well-rested for the beginning of the NFL season.
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